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Bix Nood

Avatar: 60260 2010-10-12 20:21:23 -0400
1

[7 VIBRATING DOLDOES]

Level 60 Troll

MUP DA DOO DIDDA PO MO GUB BIDDA BE DAT TUM MUHFUGGEN

Now I present to you, the outline.

Intro:

Grabber: Since the beginning of time, man has lusted after one thing, and one thing only. A good bag of Microwaveable Popcorn.

Tie: Since all of you are in college at the moment, I bumume all of you have, at least once in your life, tried microwaveable popcorn. Heck, it may be a major staple of your eating.

Credibility: Since I eat much microwaveable popcorns, ranging from the awful to the best, I can safely say that I know what I am talking about when I talk about popcorn.

Thesis: I am here today to present you with why one brand in particular, Orville Redenbacher’s, is superior, due to its large selection of flavors, its relatively healthy status opposed to other brands, and the fact that there are few unused kernels left over at the end of popping.

Point one, Large Selection of Flavors:

1: Large Selection:

a: Old-Fashioned bumer Popcorn – Tasty!

b: 94% Fat Free Popcorn – Not so tasty.

Quote from www.rateitall.com: “My husband is addicted to orville’s microwave 94%fat free popcorn. He consumes at least 20 regular sized bags a week. “

c: Movie Theater bumer Popcorn – Tasty!

d: Kettle Corn – Tasty!

2: Comparison to Other Brands

a: Pop Secret has only about 1 or 2 visible types of popcorn available to shoppers.

B: The only comparable brand that offers such a large selection is Boy Scout Popcorn, which doesn’t taste as good, and must be custom-ordered.

Point two, Healthy!:

1: Healthiness

a: 94% Fat Free Popcorn

Quote statistic of Healthiness according to http://www.consumersearch.com : “Each serving of Orville Redenbacher Smart Pop 94% Fat Free microwave popcorn has zero grams of fat and 15 calories. ”

b: Regular Popcorn is also still healthy, with…

Quote from www.thedailyplate.com: “2g of Total Fat, 1g of Saturated Fat.”

2: Compare to Other Brands!

A: Pop Secret is downright unhealthy compared to this, in one serving it has….

Quote from Pop Secret Box: “12g of Total Fat, 2.5g of Saturated Fat, 5g of Trans Fat, and almost 600 calories per bag!”

b: Pop Secret is not the most stellar example of an average bag of popcorn, so a regular brand, say Act 2, has…

Quote from www.thedailyplate.com: “4.5g of Total fat, 1g of Saturated Fat, 30 calories in a serving.”

Point Three: Pops More!:

1: Orville Redenbacher pops more!

A: It’s a fact, proven by a study taken at bumociatedContent.com

Quote from www.bumociatedcontent.com: “When we compared our usual brand of microwave popcorn to the Orville Redenbacher Ultimate bumer variety, we noticed a huge difference in the unpopped kernels. Orville Redenbacher microwave popcorn had very few unpopped kernels compared to our standard brand. “

b: Ontop of that, less pieces get stuck between your teeth!

Quote from www.bumociatedcontent.com: “The other brand also had numerous popcorn hulls that would get in between your teeth. This was not a problem at all for the Orville Redenbacher Ultimate bumer popcorn.”

2: Compared to other popcorns….

a: I myself cooked several bags of Pop Secret Popcorn and compared the number of popped kernels compared to Orville Redenbacher. Orville filled it up 90% of the time.

B: On comparison, the Pop Secret often barely made it half-way.

Conclusion!:

Thesis: Today, I showed you that Orville Redenbacher is a superior brand of popcorn over all other brands by stating that there are far more brands, it is healthier than other brands, and there are fewer unpopped kernels from Orville Redenbacher.

Retie: From my survey I took, a resounding 15/19 of you that had tried the popcorn had an above-average score, which shows that many of you acknowledge that it does taste good.

CALL TO ACTION: I suggest that you now use your newfound knowledge and make the right choice, to switch to Orville Redenbacher and leave other brands behind in the dust.

Formatting may be weird, due to the fact I wrote it in word and copypasted it.

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