Ondore Posted:

Calm down fine upstanding member of society! There is an enemy in your sights and you don’t know the way out, heal up and kill it.

Still babbling incoherently, fine upstanding member of society reacts more by instinct than logical process, shooting at his newly-appeared foe. Unfazed, it fires a blast at the marine, hitting the wall behind him. The force propels fine upstanding member of society forward and brings him to his senses. Patching himself up with all the speed and efficiency of an instant plot device, fine upstanding member of society fires with renewed focus, somehow managing to overcome his tendency to gouge large portions of the floor and walls off. The cacodemon, perhaps out of desperation, fires another blast, badly scorching fine upstanding member of society and rendering what remains of his armor useless, but also frying itself in the process. Before it can get its bearings, one last bullet takes it clean through the eye. Even as the cacodemon dies, the announcer’s voice rings throughout the arena:

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Feeling on top of the world, fine upstanding member of society strides proudly through the blood and gore of his fallen foes, searching for his promised rewards. Oh what a reward it is…within the arena, fine upstanding member of society finds the following:

-A set of blue armor (which he dons)

-Some 10mm ammo

-Some plasma cells

-A Supercharge globe (bumps health to 200%, slowly decreases back to 100% over time)

-A crapload of rockets

-A rocket launcher

Hang on, let me reiterate that for emphasis.

A ****ING ROCKET LAUNCHER **** YEAH

Feeling like Christmas for the next 5 years all came at once, fine upstanding member of society runs down the stairs to the next floor giggling like a schoolgirl on weed. He finds himself in a long narrow corridor with barrels situated at each end.

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