Dear Lord and Master Bootington of Holeshire friend,

I’m not very active outside of the klan forum, so me posting here is definitely a sign of how committed our klan is to being your friend. I will spur on my (more post-happy) klannies to defend you and praise your awesomeness as much as they can on the public forums where I rarely venture. Our klan would be ever so good as your friends.

Loyal, kind and steadfast to you and those your benevolence shines upon, but a united cyclopean furious raging firestorm of destruction and mockery to all those who dare doubt your immense amount of cool. We would be there for you to rely on.

And not just for a week, no sir, you cannot be BFFs for just a week, it’s F. And not for the BP, who needs BP when you can have your friendship. And not for personal E-peen, a friend such as you would be all the E-peen we would need*.

Won’t you be our friend?

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*: A klan e-peen that proudly displays how much we love and adore our very bestest BFF would of course make us happy**.

**: Of course, not as euphoric as your friendship would make us, but still quite happy.