Sigh. Ok, I guess I’ll tell an awful joke then.

A midget walks into a bar and says to the bartender “where’s your bouncer? I’m gonna kick the **** out of him.” The bartender points toward the bouncer and the midget sizes him up and says “Okay, give me 4 shots of tequila.” He downs them, and goes and kicks the **** out of the bouncer.

The next night, the midget walks in, asks the same question, bartender points the bouncer out to him, he asks for 6 shots this time, kicks the **** out of the bouncer and leaves.

The bartender is quite upset, because now no one will take the job as a bouncer in the bar. One of the men at the bar says “Hey, I work at the municipal zoo, whaddaya say we steal a silverback gorilla and put it in the bathroom, so tomorrow when that midget comes in, he gets one helluva surprise?”

So they do that.

The following night, sure as ****, the midget comes in looking for the bouncer with intentions of ****ing him up. This time the bartender says “He’s in the bathroom, and he’s waiting just for you.” The midget asks for 8 shots of tequila, and goes stumbling into the bathroom. After a few moments, absolute pandemonium erupts. The bar patrons hear shouting, things breaking, and all manner of noises that supposedly happen in fights. Then, a blood-curdling scream, and everything goes silent.

After a few moments, the midget walks out covered in blood and looking dazed. The bartender says “Jesus christ! What the **** happened?” The midget replies “I kicked his ****ing bum, that’s what. And when he wakes up, tell that fine upstanding member of society his fur coat is in the trash can!”

I know, tl;dr