I’d like to thank my male reproductive organ for this victory.

Do you know what it feels like to sit around a board room with a bunch of white folk, knowing that I have the biggest male reproductive organ in the room? It feels ****ing awesome.

Some of my harshest critics pointed out that one of my election promises wasn’t quite clear. I said I’d tax the richest active accounts by 25% and give it to the poorest accounts.

But who are the richest active accounts? Also, who are the poorest active accounts?

Frankly, I’m amazed you elected someone with such an unclear and obviously unthoughtful policy.

Here’s how it worked out:

– I have taxed the top 50 active players with the most flezz by 25%

– I have given it to the top 2 active players with the smallest balance. That is currently me and my opponent, John McCain, since we have a balances of 0 and are currently the most active players with no flezz.

Additionally, I have arranged for everyone who voted for me to get an E-Peen™! Congrats!

Finally, job points on the job board are double what they normally are until tomorrow at 12:30PM EST.

Thanks again, and welcome to your new era of Socialism!