man i dont need a ****in ghost writer for my auto biography ive written tons of **** time to bang this **** out and cash in

Chapter 1: My Parents ****ed and Then I Was Born

It must’ve been around January when my dad, Martin Sheen, put his male reproductive organ in my mom, Janet. The cold New York winds blew harshly against the high rise building, but an intense heat was being created inside.

The heat from ****ing. It was like a super nova of getting some of boning.

I called but my folks the other day and asked them if they could give me an details, but mom yelled at me and dad asked me what my problem was.

My problem was that I was drunksmart drunk.

Since there are no records of this particular ****ing we can only bumume it was awesome because I was the result. Titties everywhere and the famous Sheen male reproductive organ going in and out until spraying hot love into hot trim.

At this time my dad was still an Estevez and when I was born I was an Estevez. But I would transform soon.

Chapter 2: A Mischevious Child

When I was five, I hit a cat with a shovel. There was no reason for itIt bit me or something and I was defending myself. I didn’t kill it with the first hit or I did it a couple more times.

I was going to bury it, but I had nothing to bury it with. At the time I didn’t understand shovels and that’s part of the reason I had trouble getting through elementary school.

That and because I was very into martial arts. I didn’t take lessons, but I punched and kicked and screamed a lot and practiced a lot of the people around me.

Many faced me, but they all lost because who the **** would hit a kid. I was a master of psychological warfare. While my powerful brain was beginning to throb with knowledge and power, so was my male reproductive organ with the powerful Sheen libido.

When I was eight I gave our housekeeper $20 to show me her mammary glands. They weren’t great, like D+ C- mammary glands, and I only gave her ten bucks and told her to make me a sandwich.

**** man its hard writin all smart like that i need a drink and maybe a swim…i wonder if we got any spray paint and plastic bags…