David stopped outside the old cathedral. It smelled of imminent destruction

His heavy lead-toed boots crunched over the bones of those who lay where they were slain, a fire in his eyes betraying his ambition.

Night fell like a pregnant woman down the stairs: Not nearly fast or hard enough. And in the night, his wolf senses kicked in, as he tore from his fleshy form as a werepirewolf.

“I can smell you…” he said, eyes darting through the night.

And, just then, a huge and hideos being tore forth from the womb of the earth, rending the stones of the cathedral unto dust as it came. It’s ponderous, unholy form lurched sickeningly skywards and acidic venom poured forth from it’s gaping may as it let loose a min-shattering, alien scream of pure rage and fury.

Dave glared at the thing and said: “Shut the **** up, ****.” Then, pulling the pins out of six grenades using only his male reproductive organ, he lobbed them all straight into the cavernous maw of the beast, shattering it’s skull into millions of shards.

“Indigestion, bumhole?” asked Dave, staring at it’s corpse.

While he stared at it, he began to see dark forms stand and flitter off, vanishing silently into the night.

“****,”

Said Dave.

“Demon-ninja!”