It had occurred to me just now that I never formally introduced myself to the board; where are my manners?

I’d love to take that opportunity now.

Greetings! I’m your friendly neighborhood AKK.

Everything I post is automatically negative/fail in your mind and you should not care/despise it. All of my posts are unoriginal, unintelligent, unfunny, and any other negative description you care to add. Even if I post original content you should bumume that the Simpson’s did it first and did it far better.

Your best defense is to ignore me but you can’t because you have a homosexual crush on me and really think I’m absolutely hysterical and ridiculously intelligent/original. Let’s also not forget that you want to bear my seed.

Since you can’t ignore me you should bumume that anything negative you or others should choose to say about me is automatically true whether you have a screen cap to prove it or not. You also get triple word score if you can take actual events and change the facts/context so that it makes me look worse. Your points can be redeemed for fabulous cash and prizes never and no where.

You will never win on the internet but you should always bumume that I am losing THE GAME. If you should ever think you are winning or feel good in any way about yourself it is merely because I want you to think so and control your mind with orbital brain lasers (I have satellites that watch you masturbate to internet porn because you are lonely). Making you feel better is done to build you up so I can make you feel worse about your pathetic existence later (otherwise you’d become desensitized), because as crappy, lame and unfunny as I may be, you still obsess and fantasize about interacting with me on the internet you vile little suckling.

Hail Jesus.

Please post below to indicate that you would love to be raped anally by my throbbing half inch and in so doing, vindicate my existence. Please I need this. I love you.

Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name.