Along timeago Janie dar’d me to rite (get it rite?) a story about forumwarz, wel here it is.

The 1st time I saw Biff was on the “Who is Us” discussion bordz. I wuz bore’d cuz Draco had left n seemed was never great timesmin back, so I start’d playin this game. Biff stood out from the usual mix uv emoez Log in to see images!).

We dint say nuffin 2 each other that day. I dont evn kno’ if he noticed my posts but I couldnt 4get him Log in to see images!. Such b’utiful proze! Not only was he my b’utiful, goffick soul’mate, but he was also the BEST writer in 4um’warz! I woz so proud.

2 days later I woke up 2 find this thread Log in to see images!. Bif’z b’utiful poetry swept me off my feet n I knew he wuz the 1 4 me.

Of corse the haterz noticed rite (get it, rite like a ritual cuz Im goff?) away. bum KetchupLog in to see images!).

After are 1st date (link the thread) I wuz sure wed be 2gether 4eva. Our matching ankhs tht we bot at Hot Topix sealed our promisez 2 each other Log in to see images!).

3 nites l8r I woke up 2 the sound of teh roar of Biff’s goffick Log in to see images!. I slip’t my feet in2 my hi-heel granny boots n brushed on sum dark purple lip’stick. I din’t have time 4 any other make’up, but Im nat’rally pail so i dint’ need any.

I ran utside n jump’t on2 the back of BIff’s goffick motor’bike. “Where R we goin’,” I asked romantically.

“Never mind!” Biff snapped angrily.

“Biff…” I said goffick’ly in a sad voce. “Sorry babe” he replied sadly. He started the engine, and soon we were drivin’ fast down the hi’way. My hair came un’dun and streamed goffickally be-hind me. I wuz a little scared, so I held tight on2 Biff.

On the out’skirts of town, we pulled in2 a industrial park. There wuz only a couple of flood’lites on, and the machinez made spoooky shadowez ev’rywhereLog in to see images!” I thot.

When we got 2 tha door of tha warehouse, Biff push’t it open 4cefully and I noticed his armz were really muscular, wich is kind of sexxxy but not very goffick. “OMG You work out?” I asked in a confused way? “Of course, Babe,” he replied. I must v looked confuzed, cuz then he said “a girl as pretty as u needz a big, strong man 2 protect her, u kno’.”

As we step’t in2 the warehouse, I lokked around at the corwd. There were about 15 pple there, not really enough 4 a rave. But ev’ry1 wuz wearing black and masqu’rade masks n looked real goffickLog in to see images!. “OOh!” I said loudly in an exceited but goffick way, “this looks like a great party. I hope ev’ry1 else gets here soon.”

Biff smiled strange’ly at me but din’t say anytyhing. Then he took me 2 a throne that was up on a stage. “Sit down,” he saidin a gruff way. “You’re the guest of honour/.”

“OMG!” I screamed. I sat down and everyone stopped dancin and look’t at me. Sudnly somethin din’t look rite. A strange tall man in a red mask cam (it was Kink Rimson) up 2 Biff n they whisper 2 each otha. It didn’t sound very goffick, tho.

“Biff?” I said in a whispery voice, “who is this?” Log in to see images!! Biff din’t say anythin, but he n red mask man just looked at me and laffed. Then everyone started laffin’. “Biff? What’s going on?” I asked.

Suddenly, the lites came on n I heard a familiar ungoffick drumbeat then a depe voice singin “we’re no stangers 2 luuuv,” Log in to see images!!!

“WHAT?!” I shouted angri’ly.

“Ha hah enoby, you’ve been Rickrolled!” The strange guy in the red mask yelled. Sud’nly, ev’ry1 took off their masks n robez. Ev’ry1 was wearin blu’ jeanz, cow’boy belts, and ironic t-shirts.

“HIPSTERS?!” I screamed! “What the hell is goin’ on?”

Then they turn’d up the lites and I cud see there faces. The guy wiff the red mask was Kink Rimson. In the lite I cud see tht Biff wasn’t wearin any makeup n he had tonz of zits n scabs Log in to see images! After “Never Gonna Give You Up,” they danced 2 Back’street Boyz El DeBarge n Michael Jaxson (but not Thriller, ‘cuz that song’s kinda goffick LOL).

“Log in to see images!

I tried 2 get up n leave but the throne had restraints tht grab’d my rists. “Why are you doin this 2 me?!” I shouted angri’ly, but they all just lafft harder. “Hipsterz rule, Goff’s drool!” sum1 shouted n then they were all chantin it 2gether like a bunch uv loozerz Log in to see images!

I don’t know when the goat arrived or how it got there, but suddenly there it wuz, tied 2 the post in the middle of the room. It wuz teh post that held up the roof. Ev’ry1 wuz standin around clappen n shouten. bum was rubbing his thing and chantin “Nanny’goat Nanny’goat I choose U!” Biff n Kink had there pants off n the next thing I knew, Biff was fukken Kink and Kink was fukken the goat Log in to see images!. Suddenly the goat pull’d hard on it’s chain; there wuz a terrible creakin sound, and the pole broke in half. The goat tried 2 run, but Kink n Biff over’power’d it n got on 2p of it wiff Biff in the middle. I struggl’d as hard as I cud n managed 2 break the restraints that were holding me in2 the chair. I heard this loud groaning n cracking noise n looked up, it wuz the ceiling crackin! I started screamin at ev’ry1 2 get out, but no 1 listened. They just kept screamin “Nanny’goat Nanny’goat!” n touchin themselvez in a dirrty way. I ran thru the door and ran as fast as I could.

I bearly made it out frm the buildin b4 it collaps’d. There wuz a big pile of rubble n stonze n **** n dust in the air. There wuz no screamz; ev’ry1 must have died already. I stood their cryin n screaming n then I started runnin 2ward the hi’way. Im skinny n pretty anemic (I am a vegan IRL that’s why I’m so pail), so so I ran out of breat pretty quick’ly. I trip’t on my long hair n started fallin.

As I was fallin I felt an arm wrap’t around my waist and picked me up. Next thing I knew, I wuz on a flyin’ broomstick. I turn’d 2 see who it wuz, and it wuz my sexxxy DracoLog in to see images!!

“Draco! How did U find me?” I ask’t.

“I knew U were in trouble, so I just follow’d my heart,” he reply’d. We hav a psychic connexion beause we’re vampieres.

“Where v u ben!?” I yelled angri’ly!

“Sorry darlin I had 2 go 2 Transyll’vania 4 a fam’ly reunion. We stayed there 4 a month” he answer’d quietly.

“Oh,” I said. “Well don’t leave me like that again!” I screamed angrily. “I thought u left me 4eva n then I almost died!” I started cryin again.

Draco kept saying “shhh… shhhh.” Next thing I knew he landed us in the 4bidden 4est. We got off the broomstick and he held me while I cryed 4 awhile then he started kissin me and i got really turned on. Then he push’t me agenst a tree n took out his thing n lift’d up my skirt n put his thing in me. ‘

It was soo great. “Oh Draco!” I screeam’d excited’ly. “I lLog in to see images!.

“I lLog in to see images!v U 2 Enoby” he replied quietly.


THE END
Enoby edited this message on 09/23/2008 5:37PM