HEY ERIC LAST NIGHT WHEN I WAS ON TOP OF YOUR MOM SHE TOLD ME SHE PLANTED THAT PAXIL IN YOUR ROOM IN HOPES OF YOU EATING IT ALL. I WAS OUT IN YOUR BACKYARD DRINKING KEGS WITH YOUR DAD IN THE SAUNA NO HOMO WHEN YOUR MOM CAME RUNNING OUT SAYING YOU OD’D. AFTER YOUR DAD AND I DPED YOUR MOM WE DECIDED IT WOULD BE MORE ENTERTAINING IF YOU LIVED. WHILE WE WERE DRIVING BEHIND THE AMBULANCE I RUBBED ONE OFF ON YOUR MOM AS WE TALKED ABOUT HOW SHE ALMOST ABORTED YOU.