I’ll try again

I

After a trial had been going on for three days, Finley, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge’s bench. “Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from ‘innocent’ to ‘guilty’ of the charges.”

The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. “If you’re guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience? ” he demanded.

Finley looked up wide-eyed and stated, “Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me.”

II

A state trooper pulls over a blonde on a lonely back road and says, “Ma’am, is there a reason why you’re weaving all over the road?”

The woman replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. So, I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. Then, I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!”

The officer reached through the side window to the rear view mirror, and explained, “Ma’am… that’s your air freshener.”