My name is Jason. I’m a factory worker from Alabama, and I turn 30 one month from today.

I used to play online poker, but I quit because I suck at it.

I used to play guitar, but I quit because of a pinched nerve in my hand.

I am obsessed with papercrafting.

My favorite types of movies are Kung-Fu and Horror.

I AM married (sorry ladies).

I recently lost 20 lbs. from diet and exercising.

Also I haven’t had a solid bowel movement in about a month, I probably need to get that checked out.

I got a degree in industrial electronics in college.

As you can probably guess, I’m a total Pinkerton.

I am also a bondage fetishist.

And I am a picky eater.

I have lost two jobs in my life due to outsourcing to Mexico.

I am a card carrying member of the Church of the Subgenius.

I am also an anarchist.

And I believe in interplanetary life.

I never pay for music OR porn.

Tom Waits is my hero.

I was in two automobile accidents last year, neither of them being my fault.

I live in a trailer.

I’m currently learning how to do Tai Chi.

All I ask is that the pizza has pepperoni.

That’s all I can think of for now.