by Petula Tadman

THE THONG

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I bought myself a ‘thong’

There was definitely something wrong

The bumistant said my knicker-line most certainly would be gone.

.

I took it home to find three holes…which one do I use?

To put my legs and my body parts I really wasn’t amused.

Each hole looked exactly the same

I tried again and again in vein

It’s no good it just won’t fit

I couldn’t move – I was tangled up

I couldn’t even sit!

The gusset hung by the side of my thigh

What am I doing! oh my, oh my!

.

I turned it around only to find

The label was round the wrong way

Had one more try with a tear in my eye

Then gave it up for the day!

.

I decided after a long long think

That the thong was not for me

So I put it away till another day

And made me a nice cup of tea.