Lucinda Sherwood Posted:

Dear Paraone,

I bumure you, young man, that Satan is not “awesome,” but rather “awful.” He is the source of all the misery and suffering in the world. Do you want to suffer and be miserable? I doubt that you do, but that’s exactly what you will be once you’ve died and gone to Hell. When demons are clawing out your entrails and chewing away your genitals, you’ll regret this foolish decision to worship the Prince of Darkness.

For my part, I can only pray that no one reading your wretched words will follow you down the same path of evil.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood

Mrs. Sherwood.

You sure have a way with words darlin. Hearin you talk about demons chewing away at my genitals got me feelin kinda “religious” if you know what I mean.

I sure hope you take me up on my offer for coffee, I’d very much like to “search for God” with you.

I know of several techniques that I can guarantee will bring you closer to heaven.

Tubmail me with the details of when and where you’d like to meet darlin.