scullyangel Posted:

My life as a camwhore has become meaningless. I’ve been feeling . . . emo. Log in to see images!

Tom said he’s leaving me forever, and well, even owning Swedish supergroup ABBA and giving other players a good spanking in Domination hasn’t lifted my spirits. Log in to see images!

Suddenly it hit me, I’m alone. There is a vast void that needs to be filled. It can only be filled with a really large e-peen. You can help me through this trying time, friend me and bring the crack back to my riding crop.

*span…sigh*

Dear Miss Angel,

That Tom person, from what I gather, wasn’t anyone’s friend, and it pains me to say it since he was one of the boys in my little club here on the internet. And while I do love the bouncy beat of those ABBA people — Norwegians are so cheery! — and certainly think there should be more spanking going on rather than less, these interests alone will never give your life a feeling of purpose and meaning.

The only thing that can help you is the saving grace of Jesus. Even when others desert you — as they bumuredly will once you grow old and saggy — Jesus is your friend for all eternity. Our Lord doesn’t give a hoot about how many wrinkles or stretch marks you have. And if you pray very hard and devote your life to good works, then He may even allow your hymen to grow back.

I will be praying for you tonight at our Rosary Circle.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood