Dear Mr. WooWoo,

Yes, addiction can be a terrible thing, but I’m afraid I must agree with Mr. Gigerth. (He’s so nice and well-spoken for a black man, don’t you think?) Self-denial and discipline are habits, just like sloth and gluttony. You have let your sloth and gluttony habits get out of control, and now it is time to work those discipline muscles, young man! You must bring yourself firmly in hand. You have grown flabby and lazy, and now you must become hard and upright.

Pray to Jesus to give you strength when you sag, confidence when you falter, and comfort when you feel raw. I know that I will be praying for you, and I’m sure you have the support of many other young men here on this little forum.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood