enire Posted:

Dear Lucinda

I hope you do not mind my forwardness in using your first name. Please feel free to use mine. It’s “enire.”

I have contemplated your request, but I do not think it would work. While I do understand your fondness for loose tea, the contents of this teabag are of a particularly rare and delicate variety. Without the protection of the bag, they would be easily bruised and would very quickly lose their potency, thus leaving you with a rather unsatisfying experience.

Let me bumure you, however, that this teabag is of the most delicate silk and is quite pleasing to the touch. You may find yourself fondling it absent-mindedly before dipping. Moreover, the bag is quite loose, allowing the contents to move freely, and permitting the release of the sweetest and most succulent essences.

I am certain that you will be pleasantly surprised; this teabag and its contents are vastly superior to any others I have sampled, and I have sampled many, being something of a connoisseur.

Best

Enire

Dear Mr. Enire,

Is it black tea? Because if it is, I’ll have to take out my dentures first. Black teas stain them so badly.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood