The party is approached by a small ch-

XEP ATTACKS CHILD (1)!

THE ATTACK DOES 3,256 DAMAGE!

CHILD (1) DIES!

YOU GAIN 1 XP!

YOU GAIN 1  !

YOU GAIN A NEW ITEM: LETTER

You open the letter. It reads:

Greeted, adventurers! Us have come for the ore how you the snot monster has covered WWEHCBQB. Unfortunately it is not some in its type, and also the villages Hfgeh, Eafwhbefw and Obbv are threatened snot monsters.

Our espionage shows summoned to these monsters to that all becomes by the bad undead king SDFFjhj III who is in hiding himself in the country of Ysjkdhv, beyond the mounts of Hwekf and…

You think the letter is tl;dr and you watch as Xep proceeds to sodomize the child’s corpse. It’s pretty hot and you achieve orgasm quickly. You look for something to wipe off your male reproductive organ.

YOU GAIN A NEW ITEM: JIZZ-STAINED POORLY TRANSLATED LETTER

You discard the letter because it has jizz on it.