Day 378. I have survived… somehow. But I still don’t understand how it all went wrong. When I think back to that fateful day, the day that I wasn’t invited to the thing that I didn’t know about, nothing makes any sense. It seemed like any other day, a normal day. Not the kind of day that completely changes the way you see the world. Not the kind of day that makes you wish you had had the chance to say “goodbye” to your kids before you left for work. Not the kind of day that would have been in all the headlines the next day, if the newspapers hadn’t shut down in all the chaos. But somehow, it became that kind of day. It became that kind of day when the invites were sent out, sent to everyone but me, it seemed. And then time stopped, and the sun went black, and part of me died inside. I knew that it was over. Everything I had ever lived for, hoped for, was gone forever. It was a new day, but a day without sunlight, without love, without Hershey’s kisses. And yet somehow I’ve survived, over a year in fact. It’s been tough, and sometimes the voices at night get to be so loud that I can’t sleep, but I survived. I still wonder, though, what went wrong? How did it come to be that I didn’t get an invite, that in fact no one even bothered to tell me that I wasn’t getting an invite or what it was that I wasn’t getting an invite to. Everything could have turned out so differently, if only I had gotten an invite. It didn’t have to be this way. It didn’t have to be so bad. We could have made it, together. We could have had a tomorrow where the sun still shone and children still played and Bush still sucked. But no, we didn’t have that tomorrow. We had today. And today is hell. I am in hell. This is hell. I’m running out of time. I can hear them at the door. I’m almost out of ammunition. This might be the last day. The last day, but of what? There is no tomorrow. There hasn’t been a tomorrow since that fateful day. So let them try. Let them try to take me. I’m ready. I’m ready to send them to hell. The hell that I already live in.