Lucinda Sherwood Posted:

Dear Mr. El Malo,

Can science do that these days? I knew they were performing horrible experiments on dead babies in the name of “medicine,” and that they were doing that cloning thing in an attempt to usurp God’s authority, but I had no idea that they’d invented time-traveling abortion doctors.

I shall have to inform my bishop about this.

With all Christian love,

Mrs. Lucinda Sherwood

No time travel involved!

You’ll be happy to know that a retroactive abortion occurs after the potential angel is PAST the danger point and has been birthed, and thus has had an opportunity to be saved.

In 90% of the cases, a retro-abortion candidate is in his or her teen years or younger, although in certain cases it is recommended that an adult be retroactively aborted. One criterion is the ability to do simple geometry or algebra, although this is not a hard and fast rule.*

Other advantages of retro-abortions are that they do not involve a visit to a Secular Humanist Gynecologist by the mother. They can be easily accomplished with 7 grams of lead, a baseball bat, or by drowning. Thus the mother’s soul is never in danger. A Christian can retroactively abort her children in good conscience, with no fear of retributive hellfire.

*Oddly enough, some states practice R-A on certain unwanted persons (called criminals), but it is illegal to do so if that person is mentally very special. I guess it should be NO SURPRISE that government could screw up something as simple as R-A.