Guy Snortococci Posted:

Good evening and thank you for joining us. Tonight on FWFocus I’ll be talking to presidential candidate Donald Trump about his campaign, his controversial comments, and maybe we’ll get a little insight into what exactly…makes him tick.

We begin tonight with Trump’s latest statement regarding the devastating hurricane in Mexico.

Mr. Trump, we all know you have strong feelings about immigration and illegal immigrants. But, if I may be so bold sir…Isn’t it a tad too soon to be speaking so harshly – and some might say downright insensitively – about this terrible natural disaster? I mean, come on; their socks aren’t even dry yet!

You call it insensitive, I call it saying what needs to be said. First of all, this was no hurricane. The storm that hit New Orleans, that was a hurricane. This was just some rain and some wind that got a few people’s backs wet. All the people in this country talking about this storm are trying to make excuses for people who don’t want to get dry. And I’ll tell you, the people who live and stay in my buildings, they are always totally dry. And the towels are always cleaned immediately. While I’m not sure who cleans them, I do have people looking into that.

The Donald Posted:

You call it insensitive, I call it saying what needs to be said. First of all, this was no hurricane. The storm that hit New Orleans, that was a hurricane. This was just some rain and some wind that got a few people’s backs wet. All the people in this country talking about this storm are trying to make excuses for people who don’t want to get dry. And I’ll tell you, the people who live and stay in my buildings, they are always totally dry. And the towels are always cleaned immediately. While I’m not sure who cleans them, I do have people looking into that.

So you’re saying all this hurricane talk is – pardon the pun – trumped up sensationalism? I agree that Katrina was far worse, but while some say that those victims milked their situation, others say that George Bush…simply didn’t do enough. How would you have handled this devastating event differently?

Bernie Sanders Posted:

We need to be addressing issues that affect the poor people in America, not the beaches in Mexico.

Mr. Sanders, so glad you could join us! I admire your pbumion. Tend your own garden first, isn’t that what they say? How do you plan to help the poor?

Bernie Sanders Posted:

Guy, it’s very simple. While the United States has been very good to people like Mr. Trump, those millionaires and billionaires. have not paid their fare share. Now, I’m glad Mr. Trump brings up the hurricane in New Orleans. Under a Sanders administration, every single person living in that city would be given full tuition to one of Louisiana’s fine public universities (at lease I bumume there are fine public universities there). From what I’ve heard there is a Mr. Jindal there who could certainly use a bit more education.

With all due respect sir, that plan sounds a bit hasty. Wouldn’t it make more sense to use our resources to improve FEMA? What about young people in other areas of the country who are just as deserving of a good education? Forgive me for saying so, but it doesn’t seem fair that you would hand out special treatment to people who just happen to live on the coast!

The Donald Posted:

Well, I guess you’ve wasted enough time waiting for the Communist to answer, I mean who cares what he has to say anyway, right? Under my presidency people who aren’t lazy will be able to pay for their own college, own their own guns, and buy their own bombs to shoot at Mexicans Isis if they want to.

Fair enough, sir! So…Surely you’ve heard the most recent controversy regarding Ben Carson’s dishonest statements about his involvement with West Point. I also found it interesting that NBC chose to take down a clip of you berating Mr. Carson for four seconds per SNL’s ‘new debate rules’. Do you have anything to say to Mr. Carson? NBC? Do you consider him any kind of threat, or do you think his recent untruths will do him in?

twas Posted:

I have a question for Mr Trump.

What is your response to the people that are saying that you will be destroying the bedrock of comedy that is Saturday Night Live?

Excellent question, dear viewer! Although some would argue that SNL was destroyed a long time ago.

Well Mr. Trump, what do you say?

twas Posted:

I have a question for Mr Trump.

What is your response to the people that are saying that you will be destroying the bedrock of comedy that is Saturday Night Live?

As Mr. Snortococci said, Saturday Night Live was destroyed a long time ago, but it was reborn last night thanks to one of the great comedic appearances ever, also the greatest hosting job ever. If the show wants to continuing being strong they should have my wife or maybe one of my kids host next week.

Guy Snortococci Posted:

For what it’s worth, I liked what I saw.

Before we wrap things up, is there anything else our viewers need to know Mr. Trump?

Guy, I think your viewers already know the most important thing, which is who they’re going to vote for in the primaries and the election. I just want to say that you’ve done a terrific job as an interviewer, I really think you should consider moderating a debate. And be sure you have a gun. For the terrorists, I mean, not for the debate.

What the **** is this gay ****?

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Chuck Diesel Posted:

What the **** is this gay ****?

It’s called “forumwarz”. It was pretty decent for awhile but it got old fast.