John was a simple, single man, working a quiet job, and was currently trying to do his shopping. ‘Trying’, because for the last twenty minutes he was followed and stared at by an elderly woman, and John found it irritating. When he made it to the check-out, the woman was right in front of him, and still staring at him. John wasn’t sure if he lost patience, or he found the courage, or both, but he decided to ask her about it.

“Uh, excuse me, you have been staring at me for the last half-hour, it’s very unnerving, could you please stop?”

The woman looked away, embarrbumed, “I’m sorry, it’s just, you remind me so much of my son. You even sound like him. He died in a car accident six months ago; the other driver, was intoxicated.”

John, felt really awkward, “I, uh, I’m sorry for your loss.” “That’s okay. I just wish I could hear him say good-bye to me properly. He never did, nobody expected it to be his last drive. Could we, at least, pretend? You sound so much like him, could you please do it?”

With the woman turned away. John was left feeling sorry for her, but at the same time was uncomfortable with calling a stranger ‘mom’. The cashier already finished doing the woman’s groceries, and started doing John’s. John decided that just this once and for the sake of the woman it was okay. “Bye, mom!” He said loudly to the woman, who was walking away, he saw her smile and walk more confidently until she was out of sight.

John remembered where he was, and turned to the cashier who has already finished and was telling him the price. “That’ll be 323 dollars and 74 cents.”

John was puzzled, “Excuse me, these are the same groceries I buy every week, and I always pay a third of that, are you sure you did not make a mistake?”

“No mistake, sir. Your mom told me, that her son would pay for her groceries.”

So like this one time I went to the bar.

And like, there were guys there and they were like “whooo, half nakie ladies dancing!”

and I was like “Dude, BOYS!”

and then I puked.

It was awesome.

So there was Gary. He wasn’t doing anything exciting at the moment but Gary knew what to do. They hadn’t told him but he knew his job.

His dad had done it and even his dad’s dad had done it.

Though it was a very easy job, it was a comfortable job and he knew he could stay here for the rest of his life and be happy.

The job required no thinking and hardly any work other then numbering a chart and telling people that the chart signified this for that.

After that all he had to do was sit and get paid like a man who loved his life and his job.

Gary also had a love life. He had met his wife three weeks into college and they had dated ever since. They had only had two major fights and both had been due to very stressful days and they had both been completely over the fights within a week.

They ended up having two beautiful children.

From there they grew old, Gary kept his job just like his father before retiring when he was 60 because he didn’t mind keeping his job and it paid for the kids colleges and he and his wife were set for life.

Gary grew even older and eventually died with his wife.

His last words were that he loved his family and was happy that they were all happy.

Gary was dead.

1337xxxxxxxxxlolololololololololxxxxxxxxx1337 Posted:

I said make a good post.

wow. all these are terrible

So there was a fire at a circus. It was Intents.

Log in to see images! Cheekieweekie edited this message on 05/21/2009 10:55AM

ya srsly

Snap017 Posted:

This contest, along with most of this damned website, is filth; everyone on it is filth, but I’ll be goddamned if it isn’t addicting to be a part of.

Have you ever rubbed it all over your body?

God its the most amazing feeling ever.

just printout a page and then pour honey and ketchup and chocolate syrup ALL OVER IT.

Then rub it all over your body.

If there is anything better then that i want to know now so i can add it to my collections of things that feel good covered in honey and chocolate syrup that i can rub all over my body.

Crocen Posted:

Have you ever rubbed it all over your body?

God its the most amazing feeling ever.

just printout a page and then pour honey and ketchup and chocolate syrup ALL OVER IT.

Then rub it all over your body.

If there is anything better then that i want to know now so i can add it to my collections of things that feel good covered in honey and chocolate syrup that i can rub all over my body.

Actually this is probably the best so far.

And yes, it is completely subjective. Take your whining about how you are an unfunny 4chan on outta here, nooblords.

The Unexplained file of unknown records.

CHAPTER 1

It was a warm sunny day in my 3 period when all of a sudden *RUMBLE RUMBLE*.

An EARTHQUAKE,Quickly as we could we scrambled under the desks*BANG CRASH*. Lights and ceiling came crashing down on us. We came up from under the desks. There was something, something…Undescribeable. It was a…*Bam* I was struck and knocked out by a lighting panel.

CHAPTER 2

I awoken, pain in my neck and my hands hurt for some reason. It was dark so I couldn`t see anything. Then as if a thousand sun rose up there was light though it blinded me for a few seconds. I then realize where I was, I was liying in the street. The floor felt cold and metal-like.

Then it went a bit dimmer. I looked around everything seemed so strange.I followed a sign that said DOWNTOWN NYC.

I thought HOLY **** am in NEW YORK! Then I headed that way,Suddenly I seen something that made me jump in my skin there was another sign that said UPTOWN LA.I thought, did I read that correctly.I went on a freeway it was strangely empty.There was a piece of paper on the floor. It was dirty so I couldn`t read all of it,it said

THE WORLDLY NEWS 4-16-2921

NATIONAL POWER HAS BEEN *************!!!

Report of riots break out in the USNA.Crisis runs****************! World leader has gone missing though reports say that he was last seen in NYLA.

(the rest is Unreadable.)

Chapter 3 (TBC)

Should I continue or do I win.

Mrteen7 edited this message on 05/23/2009 12:11AM

Another post by that ridiculous giraffe guy, and that ridiculous ophelia person.

All of these novelty alts, I want one…

I quickly checked my BP count: 0. Oh ya, I spent my last 3 on nude pics from [user’s name omitted]...
Do I have any method of buying Bp? No…

I quickly headed over to GRP, switched to an alt, and made a thread asking for BP. That always works, doesn’t it?

After 9 posts of this being completely unfruitful, I decided to take dramatic action – desperate action… Do a contest.

Oh, back to the days of begging for episode 2 BP, I’ve since lost my touch, until “Make a good post”...

Truly, what is good? It’s relative to the preferences of the original poster, what’s good to me, may not be good to her…So, there’s only one thing to do…

Log in to see images!

WAIT! No, that’s not what I should do, not what I should do at all…

Frustrated at my inability to form humour, I realize how pathetic my life is; if I’m begging for money on the internet.

I got out of my seat, went up the stairs, and opened the front door. And through I went, outside.

I marveled at this strange new world, and walked towards the street, I began to cross it, when I was promptly run over.

I am now sitting in a hospital bed, paralyzed from the neck down, writing this post using voice command.

I realize now, my mission in life, is to not go outside.

The End.