Some big meanie kid at school punched me. I cried until I got home (I had to walk in the rain because the bus drove away without me), and then I went to my mommy and said “Mommy, some big meanie kid punched me and then the bus drove off without me so I had to walk home.” My mommy said “Son, you’re a big kid now, go in your room and play Halo with something. Me and Uncle Bobby have to go in mommy’s room and play their games, so please don’t bother us!”

Agree with me here, isn’t it a little weird that my mommy and some man that I’ve never met are playing together in my mommy’s room? I dunno what it could mean, though. Thinking of this, I asked one of my friends online to tell me what that meant. He responded with “lol u idiot theyre having sex in ur moms room without your dad knowing!”

“That is so wrong!” I replied. “How could they do that! My mommy loves my daddy!” “well obv. ur dad isnt packin the rite stuff rofl” I didn’t quite get what that meant, so I ignored it and went to play Halo 3. I never got a single kill in an hour, and I died at least 70 times. I simply said “**** it” and went to play Team Fortress 2. Same outcome. It was ****ing terrible.

You know, that wasn’t all. It was raining when I was walking home, so everything in my bookbag was soaked. My homework, my textbooks, even my ****ing iPod was ****ed. I wanted to commit suicide. I didn’t even want to know what my daddy was going to do when he got home. He said he was coming home early this morning, but I don’t think my mommy heard him. Uncle Bobby and mommy are going to have some explaining to do!

Just think of it. Mommy and Uncle Bobby having sex, in mommy’s bed, and then daddy walks in! Daddy will be soooooooooooo mad! Uncle Bobby will be like “woahmygod what the **** are you doing home so early” and daddy will be like “woahmygod why are you ****ing my wife” and mommy will be like “hey daddy you can **** me along with uncle bobby” and it’ll turn into a disgusting threesome that I don’t want to think about.

Lost will be daddy’s mind, yes it will! Daddy won’t know what to do! But this will really suck. Mommy and daddy will get a divorce, and daddy will go live in China, and mommy will stay here, but daddy will get custody of me, so I’ll have to live in China.

The entire idea of living in China is silly, I really hope that daddy never finds out, or mommy stops doing this with Uncle Bobby. Maybe Uncle Bobby isn’t packing that “right stuff” either. Wait a second…

Game systems! Aren’t they made in China!?!?!?!?!? OMG OMG OMG OMG I COULD GET A WII OR SOMETHING FOR LIKE FIVE BUCKS THERE!!!!! OMG I HOPE I MOVE TO CHINA!!!!!!!

well guys my daddy just opened the door so I think I’m going to china now bye

also just read the first word of every paragraph

OrsonScottCard Posted:

**** you. Also, upvoted.

I agree wholeheartedly.