hi

Sigh. Ok, I guess I’ll tell an awful joke then.

A midget walks into a bar and says to the bartender “where’s your bouncer? I’m gonna kick the **** out of him.” The bartender points toward the bouncer and the midget sizes him up and says “Okay, give me 4 shots of tequila.” He downs them, and goes and kicks the **** out of the bouncer.

The next night, the midget walks in, asks the same question, bartender points the bouncer out to him, he asks for 6 shots this time, kicks the **** out of the bouncer and leaves.

The bartender is quite upset, because now no one will take the job as a bouncer in the bar. One of the men at the bar says “Hey, I work at the municipal zoo, whaddaya say we steal a silverback gorilla and put it in the bathroom, so tomorrow when that midget comes in, he gets one helluva surprise?”

So they do that.

The following night, sure as ****, the midget comes in looking for the bouncer with intentions of ****ing him up. This time the bartender says “He’s in the bathroom, and he’s waiting just for you.” The midget asks for 8 shots of tequila, and goes stumbling into the bathroom. After a few moments, absolute pandemonium erupts. The bar patrons hear shouting, things breaking, and all manner of noises that supposedly happen in fights. Then, a blood-curdling scream, and everything goes silent.

After a few moments, the midget walks out covered in blood and looking dazed. The bartender says “Jesus christ! What the **** happened?” The midget replies “I kicked his ****ing bum, that’s what. And when he wakes up, tell that fine upstanding member of society his fur coat is in the trash can!”

I know, tl;dr

There was a guy walking in the forest. He walked for half hour, when he saw a sign of huge dimensions between two trees. It said :”BEWARE, HOMOSEXUALS!” At first he was a little confused, but then he decided to ignore the sign and walked onwards. Another half hour past he encountered another sign that said :”BEWARE, HOMOSEXUALS!” but this time it was half of the first one’s size. He thought:” well what the heck? I don’t care for some fabulous persons, let them be…” And he proceeded. After another half hour he saw a small board with the same warning. “well those intolerant bastards… what do they have against gay people? These signs are unusally often…” He walked onwards for 5 mins and then he saw a very tiny tag on a rock that as lying in the ground. The tag had a really tiny inscription on it. It was so small he couldn’t read,so he bent to see it better. He red:”Don’t say we haven’t warned you!”

funny post

I want to make sweet love to your bellybumon Log in to see images!

contest..i wuv constestz..i never win but still..contestz rul’ Log in to see images!

phhhtttsssstt… Put me in, buddy!

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This one, no one will understand here. Log in to see images!

A farmer calls a physicist to help, because his chickens won’t lay any eggs. The physicist then does some calculations and finally says:

– I have a solution, but it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum.

LOLZ

Om nom nom?

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I love male reproductive organs Log in to see images!