MC Frontalot – Pr0n S0ng

Click close.

You gotta click close.

Just got hard-pressed underneath my desk

no jest! It’s time Frontalot confessed:

at the best of times got the worst of rhymes

and I don’t think I’m the first to find

my life devoted less to lyrics

than it is to my struggle for Pyrrhic

victory in the race to be

the intarweb’s number one devotee

of smutty little things that occur on screen.

(Risqué to hey! Quintuple-X obscene.)

MILFs who shave themselves so cleanly

twins in positions unseemly.

My spleen ain’t the part that gets vented

I grabbed a hold and fapped like I meant it.

Distended, probably oughta leave it alone

spend more time stroking on the microphone.

Got a boatload of midgets and they’re in command

of a full-grown woman on her knees and hands.

Got a long hard donkey and a farmgirl too

and the braying’s so dismaying when he starts to spoo.

You gotta click close, put it away

‘cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.

Lurkin’ in #pbum chans on the IRC

got DCC’d unexpectedly

with an 80 minute XviD: Nuns in Heat

Part Three, Bad Habits. I’m so l337

that I had that one already.

Skipped to the part with the fishnet teddy.

Whipped it out, but to my chagrin

one toss from a win and the boss walked in

said “nuh-uh Front, that terminal ain’t

for a latex crucifix spanking a taint

in big 32-bit color

while them rosary beads get yanked out the cruller.”

I said “you can’t fire me; I quit!”

Opened up the case, yanked out the hard disk

absconded, all with the data in hand:

31 years of Hustler scans

plans for how to construct a love-swing

alt.binaries.everything

archived since spring of ‘92

receipt for my RealDoll’s stripper shoes

tools for an online poll I ran:

vote once! tub girl or goatse man?

Glands galore, explore for hours

diaper play and roman showers

glory hole video, deep as it gets

MPEGs of an heiress that she ought regret

cap’d on cam from a hijacked feed

half a terabyte, so whatcha need?

Got grannies in the front, trannies in the back

red on brown on blond on black

ganged up, tied up, all alone

every delectation to which I’m prone.

Got the Japanese schoolgirl tentacle love.

Got the furries in a flurry, they been yiffin’ it up.

Got a Craig’s List poster trading poo for pee.

Got a deep dark dungeon full of hot bi Swedes.

Gotta click close, put it away

‘cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.

Click close, put it away

‘cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.

Click close.

You gotta click close.

Backslash on my keyboard’s stuck.

Mouse wheel don’t turn ‘cause it’s all gummed up.