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crotchbiter_the_flaccid's Flamebate Posts
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INTERNATIONAL-DAY-OF-SE-BRATWURTS-ZELEBRATION-THRÄTIch leibe die Bratwurste! Sieg Heil!
(Too bad I’m a freegan) (view post) |
04/11/2008 | |
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Old Gregg vs CandlejackWho the **** are old gregg and candlejack?
And also, who the **** cares? (view post) |
04/11/2008 |
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ALL YOUR BASESOMEONE SET UP US THE BOMB! (view post) |
04/11/2008 |
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I DONT KNOW YOU HOW CAN I BE YOUR FRIENDBigguyinblack
Why all the hate, guys? Oh, yeah, we’re trolls. (view post) |
04/09/2008 |
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Let's make this thread count!Binary!
1010 0001 (view post) |
04/09/2008 |
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If you had sex with a vampire...NawtyFish Posted:
I think the real question you have to answer is: What’s wrong with necrophilia?
The dead never say no! (view post) |
04/09/2008 |
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If you had sex with a vampire...NawtyFish Posted:
She might not grow up, but she does eventually reach legal age…Log in to see images!
There is a medical condition in which girls never really hit puberty, but the law says you’re still allowed to @**** them when they turn <age of consent>.Log in to see images! (view post) |
04/09/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!NawtyFish Posted:
sure, you do exactly 1067.5 points of damage. His mother felt that one. Unfortunately, your good friend Ahab died in the explosion. Which brings us to the moral of our story: Revenge is a dish best served with fava beans.Log in to see images!
*Congratulations! The party earns 30,000 xp! More if you have mammary glands to show me!*
That’s it people, I have to go to bed. Hope you had fun, next time I’ll be more serious. (view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!Ahab throws his harpoon! Unfortunately, he’s tied to the other end, and is pulled into the air with the Dragon!
The room is big enough for the dragon to fly in, but you can still hit him from the ground.
Roll initiative. (view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!Azzedar Posted: |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!Good thing you did that, Nawty, because the Great White Red Dragon enters the cavern.
“FOOLISH MORTALS! WHO DARES TO SHOOT ARROWS AT MY GAZEBO! I SHALL MAKE YOU ALL SUFFER!”
He looks somewhat miffed. On the plus side, he’s heavily wounded from all those magic missile spells, maybe you can finish him off! (view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!Azzedar Posted:
The gazebo now has an arrow sticking out of it. (view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!NawtyFish Posted:
Whales are easy to track, especially on land!
You are on the right path. What you want to know is, how the hell does a huge whale fit in this tiny cave? (view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!You emerge into a large cavern, lit by magical light. There is a beautiful garden of crystals here. Paths wind along the colorful mineral outcroppings. A gazebo stands in the center. (view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!The heroes are victorious!
*Each player receives 500 xp!*
You are now in a natural cavern. Luminous crystals protrude from the walls, and great stalagtites hang like giant phallic symbols. There is a light coming from further down the tunnel. Do you continue on? (view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!Azzedar’s bolt hits the zombie in the base of the spine, knocking this vital support structure to peices.
NawtyFish torchocks another zombie—severed bits flop around everywhere!
Ahab multiclbumes into a cleric (>_> means “I’ll show you mammary glands, right?) and turns undead.
The last zombie flee in pants-****ting terror!
Ahab, the cleric of REVENGE, heals the party’s wounds with his newfound power. (view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!NawtyFish strikes the zombie down with her second blow. Rotten Guts Fly everywhere! Her follow-up attack decapitates the one Ahab’s harpoon hit earlier.
Azzedar Hits the advancing zombie! (roll damage)
Ahab draws his sword and slices a zombie for 8 dmg!
A zombie his Ahab for 6 dmg!
A zombie strikes at Nawty, rolls 15! (6 dmg)
A zombie tries to charge Azzedar, but he moved away!
Round 3! (view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!Azzedar’s arrow flies high and misses the zombie.
NawtyFish strikes with he sword and HITS! (roll dmg, DR 5/slashing)
Ahab throws his harpoon and HITS! for 5 dmg!
The 5 zombies attack! Two strike futily at Cpt Ahab, but one hits for 5 dmg!
One strikes at NawtyFish, rolls 19! (6 dmg!)
One shambles toward Azzedar.
Next Round…
(view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!Captain Ahab rolls 9.
The zombeis fail automatically.
Azzedar goes first, then Nawty. (view post) |
04/08/2008 |
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HAY GUYZ LET'S PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!He leads you deep into the tunnel.
“There be zombies here! Be ready fer an ambush!”
No sooner does he warn you than a bunch of OGRE ZOMBIES with clubs shamble toward you.
Roll initiative! (view post) |
04/08/2008 |