Fort's Guide to Good Posting
Hi, Noobs. I'm Fortunato. I've been on Flamebait a little over a year and I like to think I'm fairly well liked (others may disagree, though). Recently, I've been struck by the fact that though we have plenty of places that tell you what you shouldn't do, there's not a lot of places that tell you what you should, much less point out that plenty of the things that are technically against the rules can get you liked, even loved, by the community here. So without further ado, I present Fort's Guide to Good Posting to help remedy the flood of bad posting out there.
That's great Fort. Now what should I do?
- Rule Number 1: BE FUNNY. This is what practically every good poster has in common at least sometimes. Creative, original, funny posts are the backbone of any good poster. There's countless approaches to being funny, but the important thing is that you are funny.
Things that are funny:
- Creative, infrequent spamming.
- Being a huge bumhole for no reason.
- Making fun presents for people.
- starting awesome threads full of fun pictures.
Things that are not funny:
- Lame gimmicks.
- Incomprehensible RP.
- Not reading the rules or understanding the game before you post.
- Endlessly spamming the same thing forever.
- Rule Number 2: If you can't be funny, be insightful. Sincerity actually carries a lot of weight. If people are mean to you after you arrive because you asked a question that is readily answered in the Wiki or the FAQ, apologize to them, eat some crow, and lurk for a little while to get a better feel for the community.
- Rule Number 3: Brevity is the soul of wit. People are much more likely to read and respond to a short post than a long one.
- Rule Number 4: Do yourself a favor and don't start threads right away. If you attract a lot of attention to yourself, then start getting mad at people and lashing out, understand that people are more likely to forgive and forget if you take a deep breath, step away from the computer for a few hours (or days) and then come back and eat some crow, RATHER than replying to everyone who's mean to you in a thread, which means they've successfully gotten under your skin. If a thread doesn't go well, oh well. Lurk a little while and try again.
Approaches to Posting
Here's a few styles that work well for some people. Don't take this as a comprehensive guide or as a list of how you should post. Also don't blindly bumume each of these people posts only one way; everyone's different and has their own style. These are just a few groups you might see.
These are posters who generally post sincere (or at least semi-sincere) posts with content. Not humorless, just frank and up-front. Sometimes a sincere poster is liked, sometimes not. But it's certainly a valid way to post.
- Careposter/Rulebender: Hobart Bliggity (now the ghost of Hobart Bliggity), Fie, was
Love to annoy the mods? Want to sit and nit-pick a rule for hours on end? Absolutely love being called an bumhole by the mods, who you actually know and like? Then careposting is for you! To carepost or rulebend well you need to be willing to be banned; mods don't generally appreciate being told they're wrong. If you do it well, though, you'll end up one of the most beloved members of the community.
If you're just the most awesome person in the world, do that thang. Tell everyone. Make sure you let everyone know exactly how amazing you are. You can be funny with this, but you actually have to be fairly awesome to pull it off. So if you're not awesome enough, be prepared to be called out.
- Real, Honest-to-god hackers: Myspace Tom
If you can actually hack, you can join this legendary poster in his lofty position. Don't be lame though. You need to actually take advantage of real weaknesses in the Forumwarz site coding. Just claiming you can hack isn't enough.
- Mean people: Nanalatinojesus gets you JUSTICE IN YOUR FORUMS, PhilANThropiSt
Now's your chance to get personal. Find their house on google maps. Accuse them of being a pedophile. Make them miserable IRL. You can do it. It's your right as an internetizen. They posted a picture? Find every flaw and ridicule it. They posted something they cared about? Make fun of them. It's why you're here. Be mindful this is not about just spamming generic YOU SUCK posts. This is about viciously tearing someone apart until they want to kill themselves.
- Failtroll: Celerysteve, Fingerz
Im in ur forumz, spammin ur dead memes. To be a Failtroll is to embody every stereotype on the internet. If it's done to death, then it's perfect for the Failtroll. Spam draginz. Make a new version of the fresh prince song. It doesn't matter. If it's unfunny, it's awesome. Don't choose to be this. You may be this unintentionally. This is not for the faint of heart and these posters often end up among the most hated.
- Pnoob/Insane: GS49, Chilepepino, 1337xxxxxxxxxxlolololxxxxxxxxxxx1337
ddo yuou lieeek to ppoost rridciutlluus messsageys? pperefeycet! Youuuurll fit rityeeihgf in withw tiwths crouwwd.
- RP and Gimmickry: Charlie Sheen, Lucinda Sherwood, fine upstanding member of society, Neighborhood Trolley
Very hard to do well. Either you make up a character with a very distinctive posting style or you pick a gimmick and never vary from it. If you're going to do it, don't overdo it. Less is more with a gimmick.
- ****z: Odalisque, Bandaney
Take pictures of yourself and post them. They should actually be you, though. Then crack jokes about sex most of the time. This is more a role than anything, but it's a role that involves your actual image.
Note from Fort: These are guidelines, not rules. There's heavy overlap and many people will resent the idea that they've been cast this way. So just use this to get ideas.
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