I will hereby offer my candidature to the prestigious position of “Bent Over”

As reference, I attest that my legs are of the perfect height so my pelvis reaches the average height of office desks, offering optimal bending and leaning on said desks. I will also infer that I have a luscious booty. Previous experience includes the Bush Administration as one of male reproductive organ Cheney’s aids, and a reference from my father who was an intern at the Harvey Milk administration.

I am available to offer formation to any new interns to the governing office.