Name: Jesus Hussein Christ

Species: God

Gender: What the **** man im ****in jesus what do you think

Looks: Makes you jizz

Personality: Like Jesus’

——————————————————————————————————————

It is noon in Heaven. The telephone rings. I pick it up.

“Yo, my fine upstanding member of society.” It is Sonic.

“Sup, ****?” I ask.

“Not much. So like some kinda **** is happening boring backstory just pretend token villian kidnapped/stole something and stuff”

“That sucks pretty hard Sonic. What the **** do you want me to do?”

“I want you to kill the bad guy.”

“God damn it Sonic. Seriously. God Damn. Fix your own problems for once.”

“Naw, man, I need your help.”

“****. Okay, this is the last time, awwright?”

“Kay man. I love ya.”

“Yeah, I’m not repeating that.”

I call my dad.

“Yo, old, man, how bout makin’ with the killin’ the bad guy bull****?”

“Son, I’ve been thiking about it, and you need to move out.” God says.

“Damnit Dad, I’m trying really hard to get a job.”

“Fine. I’ll help you out, but you need to move out.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

400000 miles away, Every Sonic character but Sonic explodes in a cloud of blood.

The End.