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Stranger: hey there
You: What year are you in?
You: Poppymale reproductive organ there weren’t computers in 1919
You: Unless my time travels have altered the course of history… oh god
Stranger: took my computer with me
You: What hell have I wrought?
Stranger: they have!!
You: Who’s president of America?
Stranger: how the hell am I supposed to know that!!!!??
Stranger: I’m not american
You: World news buddy
Stranger: ....but I guess I can google it, wait a minute
Stranger: but when it’s 1919 Log in to see images!
You: THere was no google in 1919
You: CHRIST MAN
YOU MUST FOCUS
Stranger: YES THERE WAS!!! you changed history dude!
Stranger: that includes the history of google
You: OH GOD
SO YOURE THE ONE
LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT
You: I am from the future-future
You: 2122 A.D. precisely
Stranger: ok I’m listening intently!
You: We have created a computer system that works through vibration
You: Sending data streams directly through the earth’s core
You: While testing this it was fine, but once released on a mbumive market scale the vibration impact has disrupted the core of earth
You: And our planetary path has come off course
Stranger: damn that sounds serious!
You: We are hurdling through space, and by what calculations we have performed we will collide with another large bodymbum from another galaxy
You: There are also rapid changes in weather as we spin out of control from great heats to great deep freezes
Stranger: bodymbum? someone fat is floating through space too?
You: No, a planet.
Stranger: ok I’m listening
You: I need you to prevent this some how
You: warn the people ofthe past
Stranger: ok I’m ready for my misssion
You: It all started with a president of america
Stranger: *hums the indiana jones tune*
You: who wanted change and decided to fund some crazy internet research
You: You must kill this president
You: His name is Obama
Stranger: WHAT PRESIDENT???
You: This sounds crazy because he’s black and nigerian but somehow he runs america
You: It’s crazy I know
Stranger: but…. I’m back in 1919 now!
You: Well get back to 2008
You: And lure him out of his home in Chicago
You: with a trail of KFC
You: he like the drumsticks and breasts only
Stranger: isn’t he the 2009-2016 president’
You: Every 10 peices leave a bottle of Franks RedHot Cayanne Pepper Sauce
Stranger: ok I can do that
You: WE NEED TO STOP HIM FROM BECOMING PRESIDENT
ARENT YOU LISTENING
THIS IS IMPORTANT
THE EXISTANCE OF THE HUMAN RACE DEPENDS ON YOU
Stranger: I should kill him with chili sauce?
You: Ok, after he’s good and lured out shoot him
Stranger: but …he already is!!
You: no the chili sauce is because he loves hot sauce on his chicken
Stranger: but what about the chilisauce?
Stranger: damn I like kfc too
You: ARE YOU OBAMA?
Stranger: but why not just poison the sauce?
You: His acute african nose can spot any misgivings in his sauces
Stranger: errrmmm…. no
You: good i thought I might have to computer virus kill you
Stranger: Ahh you clever
Stranger: so I have to buy a gun?
You: You don’t have one with you at all times?
You: Of course not your from the past.
You: Listen, just go to any pawn shop
Stranger: but I don’t have a liscence?
Stranger: will they sell one to me?
You: THE FATE OF THE WORLD MAN
You: JUST TAKE IT
Stranger: I know but…
You: If you dont think you can handle this
Stranger: I think I can
You: Then since you can time travel come to the future and make sure we’re not making some crazy vibrator computers
Stranger: but Im not a good shot
You: He will be busy eating chicken
You: you can walk right up to him
You: maybe hold some more chicken in your other hand so he thinks your friendly
Stranger: won’t they throw me in jail?
You: Not if you explain the situation
Stranger: could you send me some official dogreat timesentation then on this mission?
Stranger: don’t want them to think I’m crazy or nothing
You: “Look, this fine upstanding member of society is going to vibrator the world off course and hurdle our planet into another galaxy causing the end of mankind”
You: People from Chicago are racist they will accept this explanation
Stranger: yeah but you are all the way in 2122 and you’re alive sooooo… my generation sounds to be in the clear
You: Whats your name? Is it Tommy?
You: Listen Tommy, don’t be a male reproductive organ.
You: Save the future world.
Stranger: but my name’s not Tommy!! its male reproductive organ!
You: Listen male reproductive organ, don’t be a male reproductive organface.
Stranger: I’m not feeling like it
You: Tell you what
Stranger: you’re being a jerk noe!
You: I will open a bank account in 2122
You: And back in 1919, with all the interest it will be worth kajillions
You: not to mentioneverything back then costs like a nickle
Stranger: but if you don’t open it until 2122 then it’s worthless to me!!!
You: you’re confused young male reproductive organ.
You: Perhaps you never fully understood time travel
Stranger: If I would open a bank account in 1919 fo you then you’d be rich!!
You: Look deep inside a goatse
Stranger: not me!!
You: And you will understand
You: Goatse makes time travel clear
Stranger: a goatse?
Stranger: is that a guy?
Stranger: do you want me to kill another guy?
You: How do you not know about goatse?
Stranger: it’s one thing to kill someone but to actually start looking inside them!!???
You: you dont have to kill anyone this time
Stranger: nah I’m not opening that link!!! you already threatened to kill me with a virus!!!
You: male reproductive organ, don’t be a woman's genitals.
You: I like the cut of your jib.
You: Want to cyber?
Stranger: Don’t ant to save the world anymore
You: **** the world just get me off
Stranger: ok how?
You: with your mouth
You: are you a virgin or something?
Stranger: yes I am
Stranger: with my mouth?
You: I put my male reproductive organ in your mouth
You: suck on it
Stranger: then what?
You: no teeth
You: then i will great times in your face
Stranger: don’t like the taste
You: and we can go our seperate ways
You: i pull out
Stranger: no biting?
You: and shove my male reproductive organ up your bum
You: do you like that feeling
You: thrusting my hard male reproductive organ in and out of your rectum
Your conversational partner has disconnected.