Vodic Posted:

<random sob story that may or may not be true>

I am but a turtle with no means of ever holding a job to get money. Honestly, who would hire a turtle?

</random sob story that may or may not be true>

Hmmm….

<random sob story that may or may not be true>

Two years ago, I was in a car crash with a roller coaster and now I am a paraplegic amputee. Every morning I wobble to my computer and log on to ForumWarz, typing with my male reproductive organ which has now become opposable. This is all I do every day because I can no longer have a social life, due to my stump limbs and weird bendable male reproductive organ. Unfortunately I soon came to the end of Episode 1 and with nothing left to do, I contemplated hanging myself. That idea was soon trashed as I do not have arms with which to tie a rope to the ceiling fan with. So here I am, a sobbing blob of a man, and humbly beg of you to spare 7BP so that I can have something to do with my time once again, until I one day die in this very spot. The police will find my disfigured skeleton months later and wonder just what the hell kind of creature I was before concluding that I was indeed the Chupacabra.

</random sob story that may or may not be true>