It was 5:23 AM when the couch exploded. Nathaniel was the first on the scene. He had been sleeping on the couch.

It was 5:25 AM when Ethan arrived on the scene. He had been watching videos of people doing acrobatic moves into their pants. He waited for sounds of intruders, heard none, dashed to where he thought the noise had originated, saw 1 person covering 25 square feet of living room surface, and fainted while puking. He fell backwards and choked to death on the puke blocking his airway.

It was 6:30 AM when Bethany arrived on the scene…