#2. Up the Stakes for Membership

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We’ve established that anonymous communication makes people bumholes. But it also works the opposite way: Real life, in-person communication suppresses many of us who wish we could be bumholes around the clock.

In the real world, getting a bad reputation can screw us over in countless ways, from losing future favors to getting punched in the nuts. A whole lot of people are civil for purely selfish motives. The Internet strips all that away.

Online you can drop by a blog and create an ID in seconds. You have absolutely nothing invested in it or its reputation. With that cardboard persona, you’re free to rip **** up and if people get ****ed, who cares?

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Hell, you can even log out, create another ID, then join the others in their condemnation of the first ID. The rewards and consequences are all gone; your inner bumhole is free to emerge.

This is why people tend to be less obnoxious in something like Second Life. Users there have an investment in their avatars, in time and energy and—usually—money. So how do you extend that to the rest of the web?

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When SomethingAwful.com started charging to join their forums a few years ago, it had the dual effect of raising cash for the site and slashing the number of very special posters. It was just a one-time fee of $10—the cost of a few ringtones—but still far more than what some 13 year-old troll will pay to pop in and call Zach Parsons a fart zeppelin.

Persistent ID’s:

There’s no realistic way to do this at the moment, but fast-forward ten years and don’t be surprised if every major site makes you stick with the same user ID (maybe the one your ISP bumigned you). And don’t be surprised if that ID happens to look a whole lot like your real name.

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I know, I know. You’re saying, “But nobody wants that! That can only happen if they pbumed some kind of law or something ending anonymous Internet use!”

Well, that’s why #1 is…