I raped a fat Brazilian chick – also known as Diary of a troll hero, part 2 (where’s part 1? here)

Tired of the long flight and the terrifying nightmare at Fran’s place, I threw myself on the bed and instantly fell into a weird dream.

In my dream, Fran appeared prettier than ever. She jumped into my arms. I embraced her, and just when I was about to kiss her, I felt unbearable weight collapsed onto me. The weight of hundreds of fat Brazilian chicks. They all jumped onto me.

I struggled, in vain. I cried, in darkness. Someone please save me! I felt unbearable pains. And from the darkness, a similar face slowly faded in. It was enire. And then tubs was here too. They had came to my rescue!

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And then, all of a sudden, the two jumped over me too. I fought back in vain. And gradually, things faded away.

And then suddenly I felt myself grabbed violently, then turned upside down. A giant arm torn off my clothes. Thanks to my reflex of a judo player, I rolled out of the bed, avoiding the violent thrush of a hairy giant male reproductive organ.

Appearing before my eyes was this fearsome giant creature that I never imagined to see in real life:

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The creature jumped at me again, and I needed the jumping tiger move to dodge his attack. But then with his second move, I was completely pwned by him. He forcibly disabled my arms, and his male reproductive organ was thrushing towards me. I was about to suffer the most painful shot I never ever imagined in my life! Log in to see images!

“**** you!”, I shouted. “Stop it, Banhammer! I know it’s you, Banhammer from Forumwarz! Stop this ****ing ****!”

“Wha?”, surprised Banhammer, “Little mortal, how the hell do you know my name?”

“**** you! I’m quangntenemy, from Forumwarz too. I added you as a friend, remember? How could you ever do this to such a good buddy like me?”

“OK, sorry, quang. It’s unfortunate that we have to meet in such a cirgreat timesstance… I’ll let you know the truth before going into the underworld.”

“You see, I’m not a human. Well, I used to be, but now I’m no longer one. My father was a vampire. And he did something stupid as to raping a human girl and let her leave alive. And thus I was born.”

“Everyone was nice to me, when I was a kid. But then people started to abandon me. I gradually found myself in a world of hatred. And suddenly my mother died of illness when I was at the young age of 6. For some weird reason I found her blood very tasty. And I have been sucking human blood since then.”

“**** off! I don’t care if you’re vampire or werewolf or ****! Just go to hell! Go!”

“Gah, it’s fine if you don’t wanna know. Just one more thing I got to add. I have a special taste for guys, too. You know, I feel great everytime I **** them. That’s what you human called gay, right? Whatever, I’ll enjoy ya, and after that suck all the blood out of ya. It’s unfortunate, quangntenemy. But please rest in peace. I’ll pray for ya.”

“Not me, you ****er! You know Fran, right? She’s tasty. Spare my life, then I’ll bring you to her. You can enjoy her, suck her, do whatever you want with her!”

“Fran? That fat Brazilian chick? Hmm. She might be hot. But dude, you know, I only like guys. Log in to see images!”

“Worry not, my friend Log in to see images! It’s Fran, you know. She has an army of fat guys. They’ll be yours!”

“An army of fat guys? That’s awesome! C’mon, take me, take me! Right now please~! よろしくぅ(^o^)/”

**********

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It must have been the weirdest flight in my life. On the back of a vampire. Not as comfortable as on the Boeing I had yesterday, but fun nonetheless. I decided to phone Fran to get thing well-prepared.

“Yo, quang! You little pathetic guy! Where have you run off to? My friends still want more Log in to see images!”

“Honey, don’t worry, I’m coming! And you should invite your boy friends too. You know, it’ll be more fun!”

“Oooh! You sure have strange taste there! Alright, just don’t run away this time, ‘kay? Log in to see images!”

It took me three calls to get through to enire. It sounded like he hadn’t recovered from the accident yet.

“What’s up, quang? I’m still a bit tired. Let me sleep a little more, okay?”

“Yo, enire. Wanna come back to Fran’s place? I got Banhammer here with us.”

“Noway, man. Those girls are crazy. I don’t think Hammer or even ET can handle them”.

“Dude, worry not. He’s a vampire. He’ll defeat everything that stands in our way.”

“Uhm.. you’re alright? Vampire? No, thanks! Go with him and write another diary, okay? I’ll be praying for ya!”

tubs was probably the most shocked after the incident. The only response was the answer machine. “Sorry, guys, I think I’m getting a little paranoid at the moment. Please leave your message after the tone, I’ll call back later…”

**********

Probably Banhammer’s favourite idol was Santa Claus. He insisted that we should enter Fran’s house via the chimney to give her a little surprise. And she was, indeed, not because of the way we entered her house, but of Banhammer’s shocking appearance. Something she could never imagined.

We started drinking again, while waiting for Fran’s friends to come. I and Fran both drank her special French wine, which was surprisingly quite good, while Hammer drank this weird tomato wine he found in the basement. He explained it was the only thing that tasted like human blood that he could find (Log in to see images!)

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We didn’t have to wait too long for the first guest to come. Believe it or not, it was our friend Simon Groothuizen! Dressed formally in a tux, what the hell was he thinking?

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Instinctively, Banhammer grabbed SG into the kitchen. At first, there were moans of excitement. But later into the game, the moans gradually turned into screams of pain. And after just a short while, Banhammer came back, more excited than ever.

“Hey, mate! That guy was great! More please! (￣▽￣)ノ＿彡☆バンバン！!”

Banhammer’s next victim was a guy named Pickled male reproductive organbum. This monster really gave Banhammer a hard time, but in the end the vampire still wanted more.

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Just like that, more and more guys were taken into the kitchen, to satisfy our bloodthisty vampire. Seeing everything going fine, I grabbed Fran to her room upstair for some fun too. And of course, revenge!

Just when I was pushing my male reproductive organ into her bum pbumionately, there was the sound of breaking glbum. Two dark figures jumped in through the window. enire and tubs, of course!

“Hey, quang, you rock! Let us join the party!”

The three of us violently raped Fran in every way we could think of (and as described in Kamasutra). In the end, Fran fell into bed, completely exhausted.

Banhammer must have been the happiest in his life. He couldn’t stop thanking me for the best raping fiesta he ever had, ever since being born in this cruel world. And finally, he disappeared, into his mysterious world.

I, enire, and tubs parted way at Rio de Janeiro airport. We all hoped to have another great journey together soon.