1) “We all be startin’ some ****. Write a joke about enjoy.”

2) “An informed society is the cornerstone of any democracy. Let’s try to make do without it.”

3) “Didn’t anyone realize this win was stolen? Don’t any of you look at the Hall of ****? Just kidding, even I don’t do that.”

4) “The Wu-Tang Clan wouldn’t even tour with this few members. Here’s 30 more seconds.”

5) “I choose to disregard your creativity and wit. Use that submission again later. Although you’ll probably forget to vote that time. I hate all of you.”