Scargrrrl Posted:

I took Ambien once and had all these crazy lucid dreams. You could try that, then when you start dreaming you just focus and you can control the dream and maybe you can find Trent in the dreamworld.

scargrrrl, i followed your advice tonight. i had a cup of herbal tea around 8 in the evening, then took a purifying bath and anointed myself in white light oil. after that, i took some ambien and washed it down with an absinthe smoothie (mixed with pineapple, guava and organic yogurt). I went to bed with trent’s ghost tracks playing on my itunes.

it worked perfectly. i knew i had entered the dreamstate when i was met by a fat woman with brightly dyed orange hair. she spoke in romanian, but I understood what she was saying. she directed me into a dentist’s waiting room. after four hours of reading old issues of men’s health, she called me into the examination room.

only it wasn’t an examination room; it was a hotel ballroom that had been split up into smaller rooms for a dentists’ conference. the nurse led me past rows of tables and chairs to a door in the back of the conference room. there was a padlocked chain holding the door shut, but the nurse chewed through it with jade teeth.

we trekked through a desert for what seemed like hours before we found an oasis. trent was there, sitting under a palm tree and eating figs.

“would you like some ritz crackers with cheez whiz?” he asked me. i declined. he frowned, choked back a sob, and then threw himself off a nearby balcony.

after meditating on this all day, i’ve concluded that this is a clear signal that trent is (1) not gay, and (2) truly and devotedly in love with me.