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Contest Story time! (NSFW) - 45 BPs + Grand Prize

aVENGed_dOzer

Avatar: 66341 Thu Oct 16 09:43:12 -0400 2008
8

Level 69 Troll

“Human Yeast Infection”

Rules:

1. Post a vividly described sexual escapade ITT. No tubmailing.

2. Entries will be judged by how much they make me laugh, fap, puke or all of the above.

3. NSFW pics may be posted if you feel they help you tell the story.

4. The story can be completely fictional, as long as it’s believable (no aliens, porno scenarios etc.)

5. Be original, I WILL Google these.

6. Grammar- and spell-checkers exist for a reason.

7. Any kind of sexual act is acceptable (gay, solo, fetish etc.) as long as it doesn’t involve minors.

8. Top 3 entries will receive 15 BPs each, with the very best getting the Grand Prize: A free Orange Box CD-key via Tubmail.

9. No trolling/off-topic.

EDIT: 10. You may enter as many stories as you wish, but will be eligible for only one prize.

Contest ends on April 9th at rollover (Friday morning, for you yanks).

So apparently after getting high last night I seem to have bought an Orange Box even though I already own one. To best remedy this situation (no, I can’t return it) I’m going to try to get some entertainment out of it.

aVENGed_dOzer edited this message on 04/07/2010 1:37AM

Chawin

Avatar: 146808 2012-12-30 22:05:41 -0500
12

[Deth Krew 2010]

Level 69 Hacker

Scared of death

Chawin Posted:

wizards, goatse, gay sex, tentacle sex, ghost sex, ghosts, goats, dogs,

[i]a story by me chawin ps. this isnt copy pasta i am writing this right now

there once was a magical wizard who lived in a field because he was quirky like that. he owned a dog and a goat, he called the dog doggy and he called the goat greg. one day when he was doing wizardy stuff he found a spooky and mysterious tower, the kind thats really scary and noone would never go in. steve (thats the wizard btw) wasnt like anyone else though because he was a wizard so he went to the tower and knocked on the door.

KNOCK KNOCK KNmale reproductive organ

noone was in which wasnt a surpise to steve the magician because it was obviously haunted so there was no actual people there. steve used a magic fireball to BLAST down the door and the door fell over. steve doggy and greg went inside greg going mehhhh and doggy going woof because they were very scared.

its ok said steve its only a spooky tower

they walked up the spiral staircase and found a deserted bedroom which was neatly made and clean. steve found this spooky because he knew only magic could keep a derelict house clean and he was afraid of a magic battle. it was ok though because doggy and greg were magicians too. thats another story because they use to be steves friends but it was a bad spell he cast lets not go there. anyway the three of them walked into the room and the door SLAMMED shut behind them. doggy and greg subsequently pooped themselves.

all of a sudden the bedcloths flew up into the air and caught on fire and then the fire turned into a scary naked female flame ghost who was really sexy but really scary.

hello said the ghost as she played with her clitorus are you here to satisfy my every need

yes said steve i am here to do that

greg and doggy ate their poop

but then BANG the cubbord doors flew open and trevor appeared naked and everyone was all wtf is going on especially doggy and greg because they were animals. well they werent but like i said its another story.

as the sexy fire lady ghost steve greg and doggy watched trevor bent over and stretched his bum really wide and everyone saw his colon and **** and it was disgusting. then thousands of tentacles flew out and they penetrated steve through his mouth and bum and held him up like a spitroast. trevor did this to greg too but greg is a goat so the sexy fire lady ****ed greg and then burnt and ate him.

doggy was all wtf but the sexy fire ghost wanted more so she stroked his large doggy wizard male reproductive organ and felated him and then let him stick it deep inside her mouth woman's genitals and bum and then came all over her fire chest.

while this was going on steve was being super raped but he didnt mind because it was tervor and its one of those things trevor does. then the sexy fire lady fisted trevor too hard and he exploded into fire so it was just sexy fire ghost and steve. by now steve had a 10inch long erection and was like

sexy fire lady ghost i want to **** you till you explode

ok said the sexy fire lady ghost

so she lay on the bed and they did it in all kinds of positions and she orgasmed like 100 times because steve is a magician and dw he didnt get burnt he used a fire spell to protect himself. then she gave him a tit job and he came in her mouth and then double fisted her so she could orgasm once more.

doggy was a bit bored so he masturbated in the corner. oh wait was doggy dead i cant remember.

anyway steve left the tower and went home with doggy and greg but i think theyre both dead so he just ate them.

btw the sexy fire lady ghost remembers this every night and fingers herself and its awesome because she uses a vibrator and everything

Teh Cezar

Avatar: 139026 2011-07-31 00:02:35 -0400
9

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

“Trojan Horse Magnum”

Here’s a story. Attention, it’s extremely NSFW. It contains gay sex, gore and incest. Don’t eat while reading.

Quoting to make it visible Posted:

It was a cold, gloomy morning. Bob was drinking his coffee, apathetic and grumpy. The weather, as well as his problems, were a physical strain for him and he was far from lively in this particular day.

He turned on his computer, hoping to find something amusing. However, it was going to be hard, as he had been unemployed for several months, and browsing the internet was his only occupation. He had been desensitized to the point where he could fap to Goatse, and, coincidentally, that’s what he was doing all day long.

All of a sudden, his phone rang. Bob didn’t have any friends, and his parents were too disappointed by his behaviour as to call him any more. He answered, and a slithering voice demanded that he went to a narrow street, in the other side of the town.

‘Y’mean like, gettin’ out of the house? That ain’t gonna happen, mate. I hasn’t gone out in months!’

‘I said, COME.’

A loud bang could be heard in the bathroom. Bob was stupid, but he wasn’t a permanoob. He felt threatened, and he got out of the house as fast as he could.

He had been called to a warehouse. As soon as he got inside, he puked. He had seen bodies: human corpses, nailed to the walls, some of them still bleeding. He felt a putrid smell, and the same voice behind him. When he turned around, there was already a rope around his neck. He was carried to the centre of the warehouse, where he saw his mother, naked, tied to a bed. On her body there was a note.

‘Do you remember when you fired me, saying that I was a ****? Let’s see you now, ****.’

Bob remembered that case, as he was being stripped naked too. When he still had a job, he had fired a man for refusing to have gay sex with him. That’s why he lost his job: he was a fabulous person douchebag that harbumed employees.

He was interrupted from his nostalgia, as a crowbar hit made him collapse on top of his mother. As he was being poked with a cattle prod, he was tied to the bed, and demanded that he **** his own mother. Bob was stupid, but he cared for his life.

Puking a little in his mouth, he thrusted, feeling his mother’s sweet woman's genitals wrap around his male reproductive organ. She was smiling, maybe trying to encourage Bob to get over with it as fast as he could. His swollen balls were rubbing against her wet labia, and he felt her hard nipples on his hairy chest. His mom was fat, and he was almost lost in her plethora of skin folds. Insanely, he inserted two fingers in her loose, loopy bumhole, as she had unexpectedly started to moan. He was stroking her hairy perineum, while licking her greasy mammary glands. It was an epic wincest.

He tried to get off as fast as he could, so he could escape, but his former employee was far sicker than he had expected. A nine inch nail was being pushed into his bumhole at the same pace as he was ****ing his mom.

‘I knew I needed a good nailing, but this is too much!’ thought Bob, trying to welcome this ****ty situation.

Pushing more and more, he came, while the nail had reached his prostate, in a ****ed-up synchronization. He got off his mom, bleeding from his bumhole.

‘Hell, at least I helped Teh Cezar win a 15 BP contest!’

What if I write a story about a clown nailing Benjamin bumon? The guy was 85 or so when he looked underage, so it’s not CP Log in to see images!

Dirty Birdy

Avatar: Rocker Chick
10

[Forumwarz Speakeasy]

Level 19 Camwhore

Interstate Salsa Trafficker

once up on a time there were some monster homo gay fabulous personots playing jacks one of them got a jack stuck in there bum and the other homo gay was like we should get that jack out of your bum hole man and then the other guy that was there was like look guys if I take this ball and stick it down between my legs I would have 3 balls and the other 2 homo gays were all like gtfo and the one with the the ball was all **** you guys and suck my male reproductive organ and the ball guy grabbed the guy that didn’t have the jack stuck in his bum and then ball guy shoved his male reproductive organ in the other guys bum and then stuck his **** covered male reproductive organ in his face hole Log in to see images! with it your gonna ****ing bite the curb **** and the ball guy made the other guy bite the curb and ****ing curb stomped the ****er and the guy with the jack stuck in his bum went to the hospital to get the jack out off his bum the end

Frank The Bu-
nny

Avatar: 228121 2010-03-17 14:12:55 -0400

Level 6 Troll

“Jerk Chicken”

aVENGed_dOzer Posted:

Rules:

1. Post a vividly described sexual escapade ITT. No tubmailing.

2. Entries will be judged by how much they make me laugh, fap, puke or all of the above.

3. NSFW pics may be posted if you feel they help you tell the story.

4. The story can be completely fictional, as long as it’s believable (no aliens, porno scenarios etc.)

5. Be original, I WILL Google these.

6. Grammar- and spell-checkers exist for a reason.

7. Any kind of sexual act is acceptable (gay, solo, fetish etc.) as long as it doesn’t involve minors.

8. Top 3 entries will receive 15 BPs each, with the very best getting the Grand Prize: A free Orange Box CD-key via Tubmail.

9. No trolling/off-topic.

Contest ends on April 9th at rollover (Friday morning, for you yanks).

So apparently after getting high last night I seem to have bought an Orange Box even though I already own one. To best remedy this situation (no, I can’t return it) I’m going to try to get some entertainment out of it.

toxx’d. Also, how many entries per account/character?

aVENGed_dOzer

Avatar: 66341 Thu Oct 16 09:43:12 -0400 2008
8

Level 69 Troll

“Human Yeast Infection”

Teh Cezar Posted:

What if I write a story about a clown nailing Benjamin bumon? The guy was 85 or so when he looked underage, so it’s not CP Log in to see images!

Um, sure, why the hell not. Haven’t seen the film, but go for it.

EDIT: typos

aVENGed_dOzer edited this message on 04/05/2010 10:28AM

sdgrbbum09

Avatar: 165234 2012-12-05 02:59:05 -0500
22

[A Beautiful Place -
Out in the Country
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM A BOVINE ****WAD

One upon a time I saw some boobies on the internet and it made my peepee feel funny so I grabbed it and moved it around a lot and it made me feel happy then some white stuff came out and it made me feel weird. The end.

Teh Cezar

Avatar: 139026 2011-07-31 00:02:35 -0400
9

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

“Trojan Horse Magnum”

Contest over! Log in to see images!

Dirty Birdy

Avatar: Rocker Chick
10

[Forumwarz Speakeasy]

Level 19 Camwhore

Interstate Salsa Trafficker

Teh Cezar Posted:

Contest over! Log in to see images!

ohohoho I hope I winz but something tells me we all win

aVENGed_dOzer

Avatar: 66341 Thu Oct 16 09:43:12 -0400 2008
8

Level 69 Troll

“Human Yeast Infection”

Yeah, contest over.

I’m extremely disappointed. I was hoping for at least 6 or 7 entries, instead I got 2 decent ones and 2 that made Log in to see images!. I’ll need a mod’s opinion on this (being my first contest and all).

Teh Cezar

Avatar: 139026 2011-07-31 00:02:35 -0400
9

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Hacker

“Trojan Horse Magnum”

aVENGed_dOzer Posted:

Yeah, contest over.

I’m extremely disappointed. I was hoping for at least 6 or 7 entries, instead I got 2 decent ones and 2 that made Log in to see images!

I’ll give you my opinion. Award the prize to the winner.

sdgrbbum09

Avatar: 165234 2012-12-05 02:59:05 -0500
22

[A Beautiful Place -
Out in the Country
]

Level 69 Troll

I AM A BOVINE ****WAD

Thank you very much for the BP good sir.

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