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Poetry Win Free Episode 2: Level 35s Only

doctormale reproductive organtor

Avatar: doctorcocktor's Avatar

[70 Character Story-
tellers
]

Level 35 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

As many of you know, I am the (cheating) winner of the Christmas Raffle. As such, I have three copies of Episode 2 to give away to three lucky poor ****s who for some reason or another cannot procure Episode 2. Some of you are too young to have Credit Cards; some of you live in horrid, backwater countries that aren’t the beautiful US of A; some of you are just tightwads who can’t spare a little bit of cash to help Evil Trout buy white slaves. I don’t care why you can’t get Episode 2, I just care that you need it.

So, here are the rules. Contestants must:

1. Be Level 35. Sorry to those who aren’t, but getting to Level 35 shows a commitment to the game even though you were denied Episode 2 access. These people, IMO, deserve free copies the most.

2. Not have Episode 2 already. Well, duh. But if you already bought Episode 2, you can’t win a free copy. Easy, right?

3. Here is the challenging part. At heart, I am a writer; I appreciate creativity in all its forms above any other virtue. Therefore, to win this contest you must write a form poem. Villanelle, Haiku, Sonnet, Sestina, Limerick, I don’t care what kind, it just has to be a recognized form.

What are you writing your poems about?

Former MLB utility infielder Alvaro Espinoza: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvaro_Espinoza

Why him? Well, why not? I like him. He played hard, he put bubble gum on other people’s hats, he was a p cool guy.

Judging will be subjective and most likely, in your eyes, unfair. Many of you will be bumhurt about losing, but remember, it’s just a contest, and it doesn’t reflect your worth as a person and yadda yadda. My contest, my rules, alright?

Log in to see images! doctorcocktor edited this message on 12/31/2008 9:00PM

leftalon2cry

Avatar: 73113 Thu Feb 05 01:57:28 -0500 2009
12

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

Glorious people!

Envelop me now, success.

No fear left to rule.

Log in to see images!

The screams of fans

Makes me feel the excitement

winning and losing

Log in to see images!

The joy of his team

is the goal of every coach

playing in the fields

leftalon2cry edited this message on 12/31/2008 9:06PM

Fingerz

Avatar: 22863 2010-11-15 01:15:51 -0500
14

[7 VIBRATING DOLDOES]

Level 35 Emo Kid

A neverhasbeen

Hahahhah this is an awesome contest.

doctormale reproductive organtor

Avatar: doctorcocktor's Avatar

[70 Character Story-
tellers
]

Level 35 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

Here is a template for a good Espinoza Haiku:

Latin Explosion

Orgasmic glove skills supreme

Bats .225

Celerysteve

Avatar: 61989 2011-12-28 11:21:37 -0500
24

[Temple of the Anth-
ropomorphic Majesty
]

Level 35 Troll

Right from the moment when I saw Saw, I laughed.

If you say to me, Celerysteve, I know you’re not level 35; you just haven’t gotten there quite yet, but I can tell in my heart of hearts you’re a dedicated player so you may enter this contest; show me what you got; open my eyes to your superior form of beauty; give me the goods, hot stuff! Then I will enter. And I will write a poem that makes angels weep. Otherwise I will not bother.

Nevermind, **** you and your contest. You are a fabulous person.

leftalon2cry

Avatar: 73113 Thu Feb 05 01:57:28 -0500 2009
12

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

Oh great Alvaro

was raised in Venezuela

in to rule the fields.

.

giving great advice

vows to see his players win

the hero of all!

leftalon2cry edited this message on 01/01/2009 7:01AM

Bigandtasty

Avatar: 67579 Sat Jan 17 15:30:20 -0500 2009
12

[Grey Goose Mafiosi]

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

The day was june 5, nineteen hundred ninety and zero.

And on that day, we witnessed the birth of a hero.

His first home run zoomed out of the park at an amazing vector

A moment forever etched in the heart of doctormale reproductive organtor.

An unsung hero of modern baseball, his name was Álvaro.

leftalon2cry

Avatar: 73113 Thu Feb 05 01:57:28 -0500 2009
12

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

twenty two home runs

the crowd applauds every time

to show his greatness

Somebody

Avatar: 51757 2010-03-05 21:47:01 -0500
12

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Troll

Klanhop Extraordinaire

Álvaro Espinoza

Concentration and knowledge

His main bumets

leftalon2cry

Avatar: 73113 Thu Feb 05 01:57:28 -0500 2009
12

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

He has endured well

nine hundred fifty two great games

a gem among rocks

leftalon2cry

Avatar: 73113 Thu Feb 05 01:57:28 -0500 2009
12

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

They are all swept away,

The stadium quiet and still,

There is nothing more to say.

Nor is there one today

To speak him good or ill:

There is nothing more to say.

Why is it then we watch

Around the field?

They are all swept away,

And his bat swing

For them is great skill:

There is nothing more to say.

There is greatness

In the stadium watched:

They are all swept away,

There is nothing more to say.

Álvaro is the way

Log in to see images! leftalon2cry edited this message on 12/31/2008 9:44PM

Lonelight

Avatar: 60603 Wed Nov 19 19:33:19 -0500 2008
2

Level 35 Camwhore

“Legs Wide Open”

It is in my hands.

Power. Fame. Glory. Skill. Mine.

Alvaro, my name.

I step to the plate.

There is no man on a base.

It is time to go.

The ball flies to me.

I swing. I hit. So I run.

I only reach one base.

I have set it up.

Joey doubles. Jose walks.

A man on each base.

Griffey steps to bat.

He swings. He hits. We can run.

It is a grand slam.

It is his ninth one.

And I set it up for him.

I’m a team player.

Colonel Bear

Avatar: 68748 Mon May 18 15:38:07 -0400 2009
13

[Very Busy Klan]

Level 35 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

Somebody Posted:

Álvaro Espinoza

Concentration and knowledge

His main bumets

Somebody wins contest give him ep 2

leftalon2cry

Avatar: 73113 Thu Feb 05 01:57:28 -0500 2009
12

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

Largehardoncollider Posted:

leftalon2cry wins contest give him ep 2

fixed

Colonel Bear

Avatar: 68748 Mon May 18 15:38:07 -0400 2009
13

[Very Busy Klan]

Level 35 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

leftalon2cry Posted:

broken

fixed

leftalon2cry

Avatar: 73113 Thu Feb 05 01:57:28 -0500 2009
12

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

Largehardoncollider Posted:

I broke it

fixed

Colonel Bear

Avatar: 68748 Mon May 18 15:38:07 -0400 2009
13

[Very Busy Klan]

Level 35 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

leftalon2cry Posted:

fixed

UR RONG

leftalon2cry

Avatar: 73113 Thu Feb 05 01:57:28 -0500 2009
12

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

Largehardoncollider Posted:

UR RONG

AMIRITE ?

leftalon2cry edited this message on 12/31/2008 11:47PM

capi duffman

Avatar: Middle Finger
8

Level 35 Troll

“Problem Child IV”

holy ****, this is going to be hard (not speaking english, but writing some poem in it have it’s emotion)

[i] -Alvaro espinoza, great player, and person

Maybe I don’t know about baseball

But I would like someone like him as a son

_______________________________________

He came to the states to play some sport

Because in his country there was no food at all

And then he became a star of some sort

________________________________________

I don’t care too much about his old job

But in the name of this contest something must be done

_________________________________________

Because of all the venelozans I’ve seen

He at least worked in something (A league) [/i]

Yeah, I know I suck at this, but I wanted to give it a shot.

capi duffman edited this message on 01/01/2009 6:16AM

leftalon2cry

Avatar: 73113 Thu Feb 05 01:57:28 -0500 2009
12

Level 35 Emo Kid

“Cutty Cutterson”

capi duffman Posted:

holy ****, this is going to be hard (not speaking english, but writing some poem in it have it’s emotion)

[i] -Alvaro espinoza, great player, and person

Maybe I don’t know about baseball

But I would like someone like him as a son

He came to the states to play some sport

Because in his country there was no food at all

And then he became a star of some sort

I don’t care too much about his old job

But in the name of this contest something must be done

Because of all the venelozans I’ve seen

He at least worked in something (A league) [/i]

Yeah, I know I suck at this, but I wanted to give it a shot.

good try, way better than Celerysteve’s

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