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Contest [CLOSED] CLOSED: Contest for 7 BP + E-Peen: Be my friend?!?

Jalapeno Boo-
tyhole

MODERATOR
Avatar: 44 2012-11-06 12:31:55 -0500

[Crotch Zombie]

Level 44 Emo Kid

Happy fifth anniversary, Forumwarz! :pumpaul:

Ahoy there, Forumwarriorz! It’s been a while since any of the Crotch Zombie Krew held a contest. So I’m going to remedy that, with this pathetic and desperate attempt to win your favor.

We all need friends. I, unfortunately, have been largely unable to obtain them the organic way, i.e., by being likable. Therefore, I’m going to buy one lucky player’s friendship for one whole week!

What will my new BFF do? Well, for starters:

Log in to see images! Generally, act as you would with a “real” internet friend!

For this, I’ll pay you 7 BP at the end of the one-week hiring period. You might also receive “tips” for excellent service along the way: a fearsome new avatar or a vainglorious custom title, for instance. Plus, you’ll have the ear of a Forumwarz co-creator and admin, giving you a small glimpse into a world of power and influence beyond your wildest dreams…provided your wildest dreams involve being a glorified administrative bumistant for an unpopular mod on a third-rate web RPG.

And since this is an “official” contest (well, I haven’t gotten permission from ET, but he’s sick and when the Trout’s away…Log in to see images! E-Peen™, ****tily designed by yours truly!

Nota bene: Should you not discharge your sacred duties as a BFFAAW (best friend for about a week), I reserve the right to prorate your fee according to my discretion. So, if you only acted like a true friend for a few days, I’d give you 3-4 BP. I doubt this will be an issue however.

Caution: While this may have the potential to be a fun bumignment, you might be opening up a big can of worms here. Be prepared to be harbumed and branded “Jalapeno’s ****,” possibly for the rest of your Forumwarz career. Then again, you may find you’ve earned yourself a Forumwarz friend for life! Which brings us to:

What happens after a week? We may decide to go our separate ways. We may decide to stay BFFs, F. Or, you may decide to stab me in the back. It’s your choice, and I can only say I hope my prospective friend will choose wisely.

So, how is this contest played? How do I decide on my new friend, and when?

Well — and this is bumuming anyone actually posts after me — that’s really up to you! You tell me why you’re right for the job, and what kind of a friend you’d be. If you’re sincere (or better yet, offer proof), then frankly I’ll know. I will announce my decision Sunday night, and our beautiful new friendship will begin the next morning.

Ideally, I’m looking for someone who could genuinely use the BP, someone relatively new, not jaded and looking to make a reputation for themselves. Of course, experienced players may apply as well, but I’ll be scanning your record for anti-JB sentiment. That pretty much excludes anyone with decent trolling instincts.

Thanks for reading…and good luck! Log in to see images!

I HATE NIGS

Avatar: Abstract Blue Circle
2

[WE HATE NIGZ]

Level 24 Hacker

i'm a stupid fine upstanding member of society loving fabulous person who has male fine upstanding member of societys **** in my bumhole

A contest FAIL can not destroy xD

Bear

Avatar: 19845 2011-10-31 11:07:12 -0400
25

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Emo Kid

“The Infinite Sadness”

I HATE NIGS Posted:

A contest FAIL can not destroy xD

FAIL wins every contest. Log in to see images!

In Spite Of

Avatar: 23493 2011-10-31 20:46:14 -0400
26

[And The Banned Pla-
yed On
]

Level 60 Emo Kid

The Delightfully Chaotic

I’m awesome and I would be your friend. I would be jalapeño threads, bumping them and defending them. I would also be jalapeño bootyhole, seeking out BP and Peens. Hopefully you have more than 1 Peen in your bootyhole. Log in to see images!

Also, true story. I’m sexy. Win/win.

scully

Avatar: 12797 2011-08-15 04:41:50 -0400
77

[Good Omens]

Level 69 Camwhore

I'd build a road in gold just to have some dreaming...

Oh JB, I don’t know that BFF will ever be enough now that I’ve been keeping an eye on your love muscle, but it could be the start. Log in to see images!

crayoncakes

Avatar: crayoncakes's Avatar
16

[Team Shortbus]

Level 31 Troll

To Earthend and beyond!

ahaha **** it why not

I’m black. Everyone needs a black friend. Log in to see images!

scully

Avatar: 12797 2011-08-15 04:41:50 -0400
77

[Good Omens]

Level 69 Camwhore

I'd build a road in gold just to have some dreaming...

crayoncakes get out. JB is my dearest darling. You and your “klan”have been nothing but awful. I looked into JB and I saw his soul.

Nicco

MODERATOR
Avatar: 24745 2011-07-31 00:34:23 -0400
51

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Troll

Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco

scullyangel Posted:

crayoncakes get out. JB is my dearest darling. You and your “klan”have been nothing but awful. I looked into JB and I saw his soul.

jb doesnt like sandy vags Log in to see images!

Shinobu

Avatar: 67073 Sat Nov 01 14:39:53 -0400 2008
5

[team awesome face]

Level 30 Troll

“Permafail”

/friend

Think about this: I called you hot and have never trolled you.

I hate everyone and I stay out of the FWZ circle jerk.

~~Just something to think about~~

scully

Avatar: 12797 2011-08-15 04:41:50 -0400
77

[Good Omens]

Level 69 Camwhore

I'd build a road in gold just to have some dreaming...

Nicco Posted:

jb doesnt like sandy vags Log in to see images!

If you had ever cared enough to get to know Jalapeno Bootyhole even the tiniest bit, you would know that isn’t a problem. Log in to see images!

Quit trying to come between me and my BFF. I will cut you, Nicco. Log in to see images!

Nicco

MODERATOR
Avatar: 24745 2011-07-31 00:34:23 -0400
51

[Harem and Sushi Bar]

Level 69 Troll

Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco Nicco

scullyangel Posted:

If you had ever cared enough to get to know Jalapeno Bootyhole even the tiniest bit, you would know that isn’t a problem. Log in to see images!

sorry you dont know enough of him

Odalisque

Avatar: 24438 2011-07-31 00:23:47 -0400
6

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 40 Emo Kid

DAAAAAAANG, SHE FLY

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha. Funniest thread in weeks. (told you he was scared)

Jalapeno_Boo-
tyhole

Avatar: 66921 Mon Oct 20 23:07:32 -0400 2008

Level 15 Camwhore

I loved being ****ed by 8 Vibrating Dildoes.

Come on Bro I’m not your best friend?

You know I am. Pick me Log in to see images!

DarkestEvil

Avatar: Dust Mite
2

[The Flamers of Loa-
thing
]

Level 17 Troll

“Inflammatory Agent ”

pick meh as ur friend

imma bump ****ty threads wit words of encouragement 4 j00

imma notify u when ur name iz bein besmirched

imma seek n destroy (or harbum) ur enemiez

imma act liek a real friend 2 u

n im probably gonna shoop da whoop during teh process Log in to see images!

if u still dont think im rite for teh job, i just typed all dis just 4 u Log in to see images!

dats why i thinkz i should b chozen

kthxbai

Aldo_Anything

MODERATOR
Avatar: 32555 2014-07-18 11:39:53 -0400
98

[Brainfreeze]

Level 69 Troll

male reproductive organMEISTER

You don’t need to look further, you have found your new BFFOW already.

I have the time, the motivation and the guts to do the job. Every offensive action against you

will be recorded. And it will be done with German efficiency, just look at 40 years of repression

brought to you by the StaSi http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stasi

We know how to keep things going, even if everybody else is against us. As your new BFFOW, you wouldn’t

have to care about minor things anymore. I do it for you. Aldo Anything.

Jalapeno Boo-
tyhole

MODERATOR
Avatar: 44 2012-11-06 12:31:55 -0500

[Crotch Zombie]

Level 44 Emo Kid

Happy fifth anniversary, Forumwarz! :pumpaul:

We’re off to a good (and somewhat creepy) start!

Odalisque Posted:

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha. Funniest thread in weeks. (told you he was scared)

Whoever downvoted this: I admire your initiative Log in to see images!

crayoncakes

Avatar: crayoncakes's Avatar
16

[Team Shortbus]

Level 31 Troll

To Earthend and beyond!

scullyangel Posted:

crayoncakes get out. JB is my dearest darling. You and your “klan”have been nothing but awful. I looked into JB and I saw his soul.

I was the victim of a foul and evil frameup. Why, I remember it as clearly as if it was only the 1920’s ago.

Log in to see images!

“I say, good sir, would you fancy a look up my petticoats?”

“Oh my!”

Log in to see images!

“We’ll just have you put on this blindfold…”

“Tee hee!”

Log in to see images!

“And I’ll tie you to the… bed.”

Log in to see images!

Log in to see images!

Log in to see images!

Log in to see images!

Log in to see images!

Log in to see images!

“Baby?”

Log in to see images!

“I say there, crippled negro! I hear if you rush down the train tracks very fast without looking, you get a slice of that delightful watermelon you people are always babbling about!”

Log in to see images!

Log in to see images!

And that’s what really happened on that fateful day.

Odalisque

Avatar: 24438 2011-07-31 00:23:47 -0400
6

[Full of SbumSS]

Level 40 Emo Kid

DAAAAAAANG, SHE FLY

OMG Scully, HOW COULD YOU?

I love you forever in an entirely non-gay way, unless I have to put my bum on the line for internet male reproductive organ and BP’s.

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