BirdofPrey Posted:

TKF if you think i’m reading all of those words you’re crazy, bro

Somone been hitting up copypasta.org.

What do you call a black man on a bike?

A thief.

whats black and white and red all over yet incredible amusing

Kikbum War

The Real Dog Posted:

One day there was a bad conductor, who killed someone in the bus with his bare hands. In court he gets death sentence by electric chair. The executioner asks him for his last wish. He asks with an apple which is laying on the table, he gives him the apple and flippes the switch, but nothing happens. After they consult the law, he is let go. When he kills another person, he again gets the deaths sentence, again he asks for an apple and nothing happens. After a third time the executioner asks how did he do it did the apple have magic power. He smiles and replies: ‘I’m just a bad conductor’

bad conductor moar liek BAD JOKE amirite

this was the worst joke thread ever. all of you should be ashamed of yourselves. i’m giving agent_orange the bp. see y’all next time! Log in to see images!

Joke 1:

When you have a “I Hate My Job” day , try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

“Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized”.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,”I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.”

Joke 2:

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge:The brain said, “I do all the thinking so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”

The eyes said, “I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”

The hands said, “Without me we wouldn’t be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”

The stomach said, “I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we’d starve. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”

The legs said, “Without me we wouldn’t be able to move anywhere. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”

Then the bum said, “I think I should be in charge.”

All the rest of the parts said, “YOU?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don’t do anything! You’re not as important as we surely are! You can’t be in charge.”

So the bum closed up.

After a few days, the legs were all wobbly, the stomach was all queasy, the hands were all shaky, the eyes were all watery, and the brain was all cloudy. They all agreed that they couldn’t take any more of this sh!t and agreed to put the bum in charge.

The moral of the story? You don’t have to be the most important to be in charge… you Just have to be an bumhole.

Joke 3:

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.

The one nun says to the other, “Hey, let’s take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door.”

So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, “Who is it?”

“Blind man!”

The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, “He’s blind, he can’t see. What could it hurt.” They let him in.

The man walks in, does a double take, and says, “Where do you want me to hang the blinds?”...

So where’s #10?

maybe i wanted an appreciable period of time between contests you impatient tosspots

There was a guy walking in the forest. He walked for half hour, when he saw a sign of huge dimensions between two trees. It said :”BEWARE, HOMOSEXUALS!” At first he was a little confused, but then he decided to ignore the sign and walked onwards. Another half hour past he encountered another sign that said :”BEWARE, HOMOSEXUALS!” but this time it was half of the first one’s size. He thought:” well what the heck? I don’t care for some fabulous persons, let them be…” And he proceeded. After another half hour he saw a small board with the same warning. “well those intolerant bastards… what do they have against gay people? These signs are unusally often…” He walked onwards for 5 mins and then he saw a very tiny tag on a rock that as lying in the ground. The tag had a really tiny inscription on it. It was so small he couldn’t read,so he bent to see it better. He red:”Don’t say we haven’t warned you!”

I once had a Girlfriend. I asked her, “Have you ever had sex with a woman?” “No” she said. “You should try it,” I said. “It’s really fun.”

So she did and One week later she broke up with me.