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Forumwarz is the first "Massively Single-Player" online RPG completely built around Internet culture.

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Stores In Episode One

Normal Stores

Icon Store Description
Log in to see images!Your one-stop shop for online pharmaceuticals. Due to the results of a long and obscure political battle, they have the ability to ship drugs to your door without a prescription.
Log in to see images!“Where half the Ps are silent,” is not unlike a box of chocolates — chocolates that have been tampered with by a malicious fecalpheliac. In other words, you never know what you’ll find here, and it may very well be ****. The Ppwn Shoppe will also buy your unused items from you, although you shouldn’t expect a great rate. All sales are final, so caveat emptor!
Log in to see images!A software lover’s paradise! You can buy the latest software for any system, including all sorts of obscure platforms and devices. ****ing dork.
Log in to see images!A Russian-based software store specializing in illegal, hacked and otherwise destructive warez. In the hands of anyone but a master Hacker, these things will **** up your system faster than a Taco Bell burrito that’s been sitting out for more than the recommended 3.4 minutes.
Log in to see images!Plum is famous for their Prune™ line of personal computers. Compared to a generic PC, Prunes are expensive, however they are generally built of higher-end components and have several hidden benefits, such as how “kewl” they look.

Clbum-Specific Stores


Icon Store Description
Log in to see images!This Chinese-owned computer retailer offers the best hardware prices on the Internet. Sure, everything they sell includes a hardware firewall that censors out the words “Tienanmen Square,” but cirgreat timesventing that should be child’s play for a hacker like you. Established in 1920 as a general trading company, they still have a back room filled with “red ginseng root suspended in royal jelly for make male reproductive organ hard now,” if you’re into that kind of thing.

Emo Kids

Icon Store Description
Log in to see images!Perhaps the worst unlicensed tattoo parlor not located in your local jail cell, Infections, Ink uses the same remote-control inking technology favored by lazy celebrity authors to autograph books from their attics. Also, they can pierce you somehow. In any case, your new body mod is sure to turn into a festering mess, but hey: That’s the price of “just being yourself.”


Icon Store Description
Log in to see images!Every troll ends up here eventually. Under The Bridge (downtown location) is where you can pick up all the psychedelics, dissociatives and deliriants you’ll need to impair your intellect and take your level of discourse even lower than that of the average Internet user. These drugs are not for pleasure. The experiences are rarely pleasant, but they’re guaranteed to turn you into the biggest douchebag in the frat house.
Log in to see images!Let’s face it: the government won’t let you near the best stuff in life. Somehow, this online store continues to exist, despite the fact that it exclusively sells things “The Man” doesn’t want you to have.


Icon Store Description
Log in to see images!These days it doesn’t matter whether you’re indoors or not: If you’re not wearing some kind of covering over your eyes, you’re a huge ****ing loser. StunGlbumes® sells all kinds of opulent eyewear, perfect for hiding that ugly face of yours. Sorry, it had to be said.
Log in to see images!There’s simply no easier way to increase your Sexiness factor than to throw on a pair of ****ty shoes. Female Dominance has been in the shoe-pimping business for three weeks now, and has a great selection of products for you shoe fetishists to gawk at.

See Also

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