I Love Elves

'I Love Elves!' was a tubmail received from HORNY SANTA. These are the lyrics from the song contained within that mail, 'Santa be a Straight up Playa':

There’s a reason why Santa say ho ho ho.

There is?

He’s a straight up playa, tearin' that woman's genitals wiiiiide open. Here we go...

Came down to my workshop middle of the night, checking elf booty, damn that **** is tight. Workin' so hard in they green velour suits, makes me wanna jizz on they pointy little boots

SANTA Likes nothin' mo' SANTA Than elf bootyhole SANTA He's got his own north pole

Santa Claus, great timesming on those elf mammary glands.

I’m Old Saint male reproductive organ, I represent the North Pole. I’m titty****ing elves, cause that’s just how I roll.

You better watch out, you better not cry, cause Santa Claus gonna stick a male reproductive organ in your eye.

****in' elvish girls, ****in' elvish boys, in my ****in' workshop rollin' in the toys, like mbumive-bum dildos and shiny male reproductive organ rings. Blowing my load up in the stockings.

I once ****ed 12 in a row (say what?) I once ****ed 12 little elves in a row (no ****?) I once got my kicks with Joe, he an elf, and I ****ed 11 of his friends, in a row. I once ****ed 12 in a row I once stuck my male reproductive organ all up inside 12 little elves in a row, fo shizzle, check the flow, Santa Claus fine upstanding member of society, ho ho ho. You dawg.