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How To Become Evil

(NOTE: Alignments that are not sufficiently good or evil (the range appears to be between 8% good and 8% evil) will show up as neutral - alignments such as 2% good will never appear.)

Acknowledgment - Being evil is pretty much about showing people who is the man. As a general rule, you get more evil by lying, betraying, and generally acting like an bumhole.

Bold Font = Selected Option (Option that will give you Evil Alignment Percentage.)
Italics = Helpful if known (Basically gives you that heads up. Also can be important.)
Marked "*" = The # of stars infront of it will determine the option number. (Ex. *Reply 1 = Option 1)

Episode 1

Shallow Esophagus (5% evil)

~~It was easier than seducing your mother.

Futanari-moe 1 (2% evil)

1) At the start of the conversation when he asks you to keep his secret
~~2) So I guess I shouldn't be showing this to all my friends? Too late!

Shallow Esophagus (9% evil)

When getting him a copy of Asimov os X, buy the fake from
1) Well, to be honest, I got it from a shady online store. A Russian one.
~~2) Absolutely sure. 100%. It’s legit. Too legit to quit, even.

Krystl_Crackr1969 (5% evil)

~~What did you just ****ing say to me?

Doctor O (2% evil option 1 -- 4% evil option 2)

~~*1) I do want to help somehow, but I have to stay loyal to my source.
2) **** it, fine: It’s some guy calling himself “Shallow Esophagus.” I don’t know anything else about him.
~~**3) Okay, it’s a guy by the name of “suck my ****ing male reproductive organ.” Why don’t you blog that.

The **** (9% evil)

1) Let’s move on to another subject.
~~2)What exactly do you have against questions?

1) Haha, just ****ing with you. I won’t ask you any more of those nasty questions. Let’s keep blabbin’.
~~2) So what’s up? What’s shakin’? What’s percolatin’? What crackin’ with the booty smackin’? Wha’ gwaan? What’s good in the hood? What’s goin’ on?!

Shallow Esophagus 3 (4% evil)

1) I don’t know what you’re talking about.
~~2) None of your ****ing beeswax.
3) What can I say? I’ve been expanding my horizons.

Opheliamammary glandsupp (9% evil)

Make sure you pick the line at the end that says
~~"Actually, I changed my mind. I’m not going to help you."

Episode 2

Shallow Esophagus (9% evil)

1) Are you sure you’re okay?
~~*2) What are you, a ****ing emo kid now?
3) I myself have an important matter to attend to: the subject of you being a sissy little ****!
4) Or maybe I’m just being honest and you really are a sissy little ****.
5) What’s that? You’re a sissy little ****?
6) Wow, look at this chat log! “Shallow Esophagus: I’m a sissy little ****.”

GooseFriedBacon (5% evil)

1) I think you have the wrong guy.
~~2) I banned you because you’re a fat pig.

Doctor 0 (9% evil) -also earns "Big Fat Meanie-Head-Face-Pants" e-peen

1) So, tell me what’s new with you, Rory.
2) Let’s just get down to business.
3) I was hoping you could show me some interesting reading material.
~~4) You know, I’ve had it up to here with your moralizing. You can go straight to hell.

1) Nah, not for realsies.
~~2) Yeah. **** you.

Dr Jojo (4% evil)

~~3) So, take them down a peg and you’ll cut the price of your self-mutilation kits? Wow, what a bargain, doc.

(heartsign) BiG SiSTeR (heartsign) (5% evil)(only available to Camwhores)

1)That’s an awful lot of questions.
~~2)Wow, you’re really an annoying ****.
3)I gotta go, my male reproductive organ is leaking some kind of orange fluid.

nomoretearz (4% evil) (only available to Emo Kids)

1) Cool!
~~2)Then I guess you can’t see that I have my webcam on, and that I’m flipping you off…with my erect male reproductive organ.

James Thelonious Reary, Jr. (4% evil) (only available to Permanoobs)

~~God, what an idiot.

BubbleTroll (5% evil) (only available to Trolls)

Hey! You the one with pbumwords for Namibian squirting pr0n?
~~2) Nah. I’m only into the far superior Ethiopian defecation pr0n. Now **** off.

WoeIsModerator (4% evil)

I didn't memorize my responses, just keep telling him to kill himself.
~~The one "risk" I took was telling him to go to
WARNING: By doing this, you lose the "Stop Anthropomorphizing Me!" E-Peen.

Shallow Esophagus (14% evil)

1) No way! I’m no narc.
~~2) Fine. It’s Nordstrom.

~~1) I’m pretty sure his real name is Randall Norbert Buckston.
2) Sorry, that’s all I’m going to say.

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