Chainsaw Baby Slappers
Raised by dismembered and disfigured feti (fetuses) in the Ozark Mountains, Chainsaw Baby Slapper frontperson Hallbjorn Infantcide learned to produce hellish yet intensely brutal metal sounds by whacking stray cats against barrels of nuclear waste. A magical rainbow pooping unicorn tried to sway him from his barbaric ways and whisked him away to Korea where the unicorn brainwashed him for 30 years, turning him into a millionaire K-Pop producer.
After attending an Icelandic First Name Convention in Korea, he met Brynhildur Fetusmasher, who coincidently was the only other convention attendee. Together, they discovered that each person had been manipulated by the rainbow pooping unicorn. Confronting the unicorn led to their most horrific discovery of all: The flesh of Icelandic people is made of rainbows! The bastard unicorn was waiting for their skin to ripen so he could devour their rainbowy-fleshy-goodness!
Alas, the unicorn was doomed. He was force-fed dried mangos which gave him constipation to the extreme. After three days of this torture, the unicorn exploded, resulting in a delightful shower of rainbow poo that could be seen all throughout South Korea.
Hallbjorn Infantcide and Brynhildur Fetusmasher returned to the U.S. where they reclaimed their most awesomely brutal lifestyles of music, chainsaws, and disfigured babies.
