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icwutudidthar Posted:

MUTANT TURTLES DISCUSS

LOL I see what you did there, icwutudidthar.

OK I’ll bite, they are mean green ninja machines?

topic redirected to fenk’s posts

fenk the evil midnight stabber Posted:

LOL I see what you did there, icwutudidthar.

OK I’ll bite, they are mean green ninja machines?

RAPHAEL:

My first time was in a dark alley, up against the wall with a girl who was high on mescaline. I never knew her name and she didn’t know mine. To me, it was the only way to go. Wouldn’t have had it any other way. If she ever did remember me, she probably figured I was only a hallucination. I don’t think it even occurred to her that I wasn’t human.

Why’d I do it like that? Now, that gets complicated. See, I’d always questioned authority. But it wasn’t until I was seventeen that I actually challenged the people who set the rules. It was Leo who bore the brunt of it. Leo had to be stupid. He had to stick his nose where it didn’t belong. Someone once put it that my relationship with him “crumbled”. That’s bull****. My relationship with him didn’t crumble- it exploded with the force of a nuclear bomb and left nothing standing for miles around. After a while, it got to the point where I hated him. But you know that, don’t you? You must remember that. Hell, you helped put a stop to it.

I guess the reason I lashed out at Leonardo was just because he was the only one who posed a real threat. Once I realized that I was no longer a child, Splinter couldn’t do anything to stop me and he didn’t bother to try. I’m glad he didn’t, ‘cause I would’ve hated him too. But what could he do, anyways? Make me do backflips? Ground me? He could chain me to the kitchen table and I would have still found a way to do what I wanted. He knew it. So he gave up on me, more or less.

That’s not to say that he approved. Oh no, far from it. He let me know exactly how he felt. And I politely and respectfully told him to shove his advice up his bum and let me live my life. I don’t know why I ever did that. He was always there for me, and that was how I repaid him. Just one more thing to prove that I’m a jackbum. But hell, what else is new? I’ve been proving that over and over again my whole life.

I guess Splinter could’ve kicked me out. Lord knows Leo wanted to. But he never did. He just looked on, disapprovingly. And I avoided him. Our relationship crumbled. Yes, crumbled. Not exploded. I never hated him. But I didn’t love him like I should have. I wasn’t even there when he died. But you know that, too. Hell, you know more about me than anyone.

Sometimes I think you knew me better than I knew myself. Did you see it coming, when the world went to hell? When I sent it there? I sure as hell wasn’t prepared for all that. Sure, I knew it was rough. But I never realized how rough until it blindsided me with the force of a Mack truck. Guess I’m still recovering from that concussion, which must be why I’m writing this. Can’t think of any other reason. It’s not like I can change the past by talking about it.

I was a stupid teenager. All teens are entitled to make some mistakes, but I was exceptionally idiotic. I think part of it was because I didn’t have the freedoms that most kids my age did. I took what I could get. For the first few months that I was sexually active, I looked for the quick fixes. I figured there was no danger to me if she was too high or drunk to remember what had happened. There were a few names that stuck in my mind; for what reason, I don’t know. Most of them, I never saw again. I never felt the need. Then, when I was nineteen, I met her…