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Whores in my opinon (which is important), team shortbus rules

Biff Weasley

Avatar: 2174 Wed Nov 05 00:04:24 -0500 2008
2

Level 19 Troll

bumhead

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yeah, parone is pretty awesome

unlike zre

nobodoy likes zre

Whut??? U Mean The Innernet Lied??!!?! Log in to see images!

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Zre

Avatar: Zre's Avatar

[The Fondler of Bal-
lsacks
]

Level 10 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

Paraone, why there is no nude womans on your pics?


Ich bin der Geist der stets verneint

Zre Posted:

Paraone, why there is no nude womans on your pics?

The same reason why you’re born


fenk the evil midnight stabber Posted:

I am a miserable loser

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Paraone

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7

[egg]

Level 10 Troll

i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak.

Zre Posted:

Paraone, why there is no nude womans on your pics?

because you touch yourself at night


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BirdofPrey

Avatar: 2037 Sun May 10 02:46:48 -0400 2009
10

[Team Shortbus]

Level 10 Troll

I lick her up afterwards (After her great times session too! Yum!)

para1 rules imo


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icwutudidthar

Avatar: 41011 Wed Apr 08 15:50:20 -0400 2009
7

[Team Shortbus]

Level 19 Troll

I LOVE GOTHZILLA'S male reproductive organ!

Paraone Posted:

because you touch yourself at night

HAV U BIN REDDING MY LIVVEJUORNAL?


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Zre

Avatar: Zre's Avatar

[The Fondler of Bal-
lsacks
]

Level 10 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

nanafabulous personjesus Posted:

nobodoy likes zre

You say that, because you’re loser(like almost everyone in TSB).

I have no offense or angry for such mentally disabled creature as you.

forumwhore Posted:

Tea Bagger Zre..Yeah…Nobody

What a pathethic parrot you are. Begone.


Ich bin der Geist der stets verneint

Zre

Avatar: Zre's Avatar

[The Fondler of Bal-
lsacks
]

Level 10 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

-God- Posted:

The same reason why you’re born

You mean par1 not post nude pictures because my parents ****ed together? How these events are related? Parone looked how other people ****ed and got psychological trauma? Oh ****.


Ich bin der Geist der stets verneint

Paraone

Avatar: Paraone's Avatar
7

[egg]

Level 10 Troll

i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak.

Zre Posted:

You mean par1 not post nude pictures because my parents ****ed together? How these events are related? Parone looked how other people ****ed and got psychological trauma? Oh ****.

nice post lol


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FoetalBlowjob

Avatar: FoetalBlowjob's Avatar
3

[Team Shortbus]

Level 10 Troll

FORUMWARZ IS THE WORST ****ING THING ON THE INTERNET, YOU ****male reproductive organ USELESS woman's genitalsHOLES.P.S PANTS RULES

this thread is better than my life.

Paraone

Avatar: Paraone's Avatar
7

[egg]

Level 10 Troll

i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak.

Paraone Posted:

nice post lol

this was a joke. the post in fact, was pretty terrible.


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BirdofPrey

Avatar: 2037 Sun May 10 02:46:48 -0400 2009
10

[Team Shortbus]

Level 10 Troll

I lick her up afterwards (After her great times session too! Yum!)

thanks for clearing thatup


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Paraone

Avatar: Paraone's Avatar
7

[egg]

Level 10 Troll

i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak.

yo’ure welcome


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Zre

Avatar: Zre's Avatar

[The Fondler of Bal-
lsacks
]

Level 10 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

Paraone Posted:

this was a joke. the post in fact, was pretty terrible.

Should I feel ashamed about this?


Ich bin der Geist der stets verneint

BirdofPrey

Avatar: 2037 Sun May 10 02:46:48 -0400 2009
10

[Team Shortbus]

Level 10 Troll

I lick her up afterwards (After her great times session too! Yum!)

Zre Posted:

Should I feel ashamed about this?

what do you thinK??


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Zre

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[The Fondler of Bal-
lsacks
]

Level 10 Troll

“Pain in the ASCII”

BirdofPrey Posted:

what do you thinK??

Why do you answer on question with question? Are you anti-semite?


Ich bin der Geist der stets verneint

gigerth

Avatar: 30869 Fri Jun 26 22:33:49 -0400 2009
2

[Team Shortbus]

Level 31 Troll

i was jealous so i changed his title

why the **** didn’t i see this thread


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i lke you paraone.

whats your thoughts on dolphins?


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Paraone

Avatar: Paraone's Avatar
7

[egg]

Level 10 Troll

i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak.

Manphin Posted:

i lke you paraone.

whats your thoughts on dolphins?

When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species… it seems women just don’t like dolphins enough… so I cannot say for sure if it is safe to mate with them. I would suspect not, due to a dolphins size, but then again, I cannot say for a woman.) WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward….

A male dolphin’s member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the male reproductive organ to be gently mbumaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it’s length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn’t take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.

Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don’t be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the woman's genitalsl muscles, and sometimes vocalisation.

Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular woman's genitalsl contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn’t just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.

Just like with a human, it is best to BE CLEAN when you handle a dolphin. If you have cuts on your hands, avoid touching them unless you wash with a Betadine surgical scrub prior to handling. This is available from most Veterinary and Surgical suppliers. If you have some disease of some sort, avoid mating, for the dolphins sake. This is a little known area, more so because Zoophilia is considered illegal in many places (which I think is a load of crud, but the law’s the law….)

I first realized I was a Delphinic Zoophile when I was 12 years old, which is when I had my first sexual encounter with a dolphin. This is not that particular occasion, since my first lover was brutally killed in an act of sensless violence that I will never forgive, or forget. She continues to live in my memories, though…


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BirdofPrey

Avatar: 2037 Sun May 10 02:46:48 -0400 2009
10

[Team Shortbus]

Level 10 Troll

I lick her up afterwards (After her great times session too! Yum!)

In order to avoid the bustle tourists, I usually visit the dolphins at night, illegally I must add, since I am considered to be trespbuming. But it is the only time I do not have to be distracted by tourists or the staff. I do not expect to have sex with the dolphins every time I visit them; I am not that sort of person. I spend time with them because they are a relaxing and stabilizing source of peace in an otherwise hectic and unbalanced lifestyle. So it came as a pleasant surprise when this 7-year-old dolphin began to engage in sex-play with me.

I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular woman's genitalsl orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!

So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.

I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her woman's genitalsl muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.

I do not brag about this though. It is not something you can brag about, since it not only is demeaning to the act, but it destroys the purpose of the act as well; to express affection, and trust. I only consent to those dolphins who ask. As a result, I have mated only three times. Each time was memorable and special, because each time it was something we both wanted to share with each other. Sex, for me, is just another, albeit powerful, expression of affection and trust. I wouldn’t engage any other animal, though; it is not my attraction. But there is little I wouldn’t do for a dolphin.


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