I’m certain more than a few of us have been intoxicated when we shouldn’t be. Do you have any tricks for “acting” sober?

When pulled over?

When interviewing for a job?

When visiting your mother?

ok ok. Real advice. Stay calm. Absolute first rule, stay calm. As soon as you’re excited about anything you show how drunk you are.

Stay calm and ONLY answer questions and do not, I repeat, DO NOT, answer any questions posed by the popo.

If you really wish to show some balls (and have the money for a good lawyer): Crack a beer when he asks you to step out of the car.

As soon as you step out open a beer and start drinking. Don’t answer “why” you did it, just do it. Then he can’t prove that you were drunk beforehand. This does DEFINITELY require a good lawyer, but you can’t get in any more trouble than you already are.

Perhaps a mod should rename this thread NSFW.

I kow you’re drinking this up, Nicco.

Here’s a big one: Your girl asks you anything:

The answer is yes!!

Yeah, sometimes it’ll be “does this make me look fat” or something like that, but most times it’ll be very special and she will LOVE that you agreed with her.

On the off chance that it’s about her being fat (lets face it, she is) you play the “oh man, I’m sorry honey, no no that’s perfect for your figure” card, and she’ll love you for it. Just say you meant “yes” as in “yes I want that!”

She won’t believe you, but she’ll love the effort. Trust me, it works. It’s a drunks fallback.

Alright, give me a sits, guys. When are you goinjg to be drinking and need to act sober?

Rule of thumb: If the cops ask you to blow into the Breathalyzer, refuse. Say absolutely no. Tell the cop to go **** himself.

Yes, he will book you. Yes, you will show up in front of the judge. But if you blow into the Breathalyzer, that’s it, you’re a goner. If you refuse, a REALLY, REALLY good lawyer can prove there is not enough evidence that you were drunk and can drill holes in the cops testimony. So at least you have a (albeit slim) chance of preserving your career and the rest of your life, not to mention your anal virginity.

Adapt Posted:

Idk about whatever place you live in, but refusing one of those tests, while not illegal, will get your license suspended for a certain amount of time. Even if you weren’t even drunk.

In WA state the jail time and fines double if you’re convicted so it’s a big gamble to refuse.

male reproductive organFACEPANTS Posted:

Dude, screw the license. You take that test and a conviction is 100% certain. And if you work in certain jobs like network security a conviction means you kiss your career goodbye.

I’d rather take the bus for the rest of my life.

Depending on your driving and criminal record even a public defender can get you deffered judgment. Nothing on your record unless you do it again. Then you’re ****ed.

I’m no expert in the laws of all the states and countries, I just know my lawyer strongly recommends cooperating fully, which includes taking the breathalyzer, but answer no questions. (Washington state lawyer)

male reproductive organFACEPANTS Posted:

Or I guess you could not drive while drunk.

Seriously guys, don’t drink and drive. If you get in an accident your car will get all ****ed up and then you won’t be able to drive anywhere to drink until it’s fixed.

Edit: Oh and the whole “refusing the breathlyzer” thing is a really bad idea. If they think you are/were drunk they’ll charge you with DUI anyway and use your refusal to take the test in court against you.