TZX Posted:

I’m intrigued as to why you consider linking to that site such an undesirable action. Is it because it will ruin your life?

Well, I emerge once again into the land of the living, and it turns out I’ve just lost 48 hours of my life. I hope you’re happy, you bastard. That site is my kryptonite.

Robin the Boy Wonder Posted:

Holy Washed-Up Heroes, Batman!

Captain Amazing, do you need a sidekick? I have lots of experience. I can punch my fist dramatically, nod sagely, and even give an occasional POW! BAM! BIFF!

And, er, do you pay well? I haven’t worked since 1968 and kinda need a job.

Just what do you mean by ‘Washed up’? Hmmph. Anyway, I’ve been in the market for a new sidekick ever since… The incident. That Mr. Peanut is one sick, sick bastard. If only Amazing Lad didn’t have a nut allergy… Christ.

As one of the new wave of ‘Edgy’ superheroes, I don’t have much use for bombastic text, except in a postmodern, ironic context. Sage nodding, however, is a huge plus in this line of work, and being able to throw a (manly, I hope) punch always helps.

I can pay you $500 a week, plus gadget/costume expenses provided you buy some pants. That’s probably less than what Batman paid you, but on the bright side there’s no sodomy involved.

Go Ditto Posted:

Log in to see images!

FINALLY someone who understands me. If you morphed into a woman I would make pbumionate, sweaty love to you. Actually, I’d take you as you are now.

Call me.

Shadow Hare Posted:

When will you finally acknowledge those of us that are on patrol every night, keeping the common citizens safe from crimes that are ‘beneath your notice’, while you are busy hobnobbing with your corporate sponsors?

Coporate spon-? OH, right. Yeah, I’ve got tons of those. You would not believe the amount of sponsers I’ve got, seriously. oh yeah, that reminds me.

Hey Kids! Do you have a hankering… For pizza? Well, then head on over to Luigi’s Pizza! Why not try our famous processed cheese and male reproductive organroach pizza, or our award winning* suspiciously yellow milkshake! We’ve even got TWO space invader machines! WOW!

Luigi’s Pizza! Only half of our staff are convicted felons! tm.

*Deemed ‘not fatal’ by the unofficial board of health and safety. May contain rat urine.

That’s it, I quit.

Anyway, regarding your question, there’s actually a group that goes around and does all the stuff you claim to do 24/7. They’re called The Police. Maybe you’ve heard of them? Go and fight Dr. Death, and then we’ll talk.

Who said I don’t help the common citizen, anyway? Yesterday I beat up a shady looking guy who was walking through an alley. he hadn’t technically done anything wrong, but better safe than sorry, right?

Oh, and dressing up like the Easter Bunny’s biggest fan to fight crime? That’s pretty messed up.

The God Damn Batman Posted:

You need to come around here more often. There is much to discuss…

You’re a ****ing hypocrite, Batman. Oh, look at me, I only fight circus freaks, or guys who set me riddles from last years Christmas Crackers! Oh, and tell Bruce that he still owes me that check for my Weapon Proof Ninja Suit desig-WAITAMINUTE.

I’d better be getting that Justice League invite soon, or I’ll be forced to send the Joker his Birthday Card early this year.

Anthony J Crowley Posted:

Hahaha, superheroes. Who needs you guys.

Well, we WOULD have been useless, if it wasn’t for that whole ‘Forbidden Fruit of Knowledge’ incident.

So, thanks, I guess.

Captain_Amazing edited this message on 05/12/2010 12:35PM

So, Captain Amazing, I have one question for you; how many of your precious corporate sponsors do you think will still be interested in your brand once I’ve eliminated 95% of your fanbase?

HAHAHAAHAAA!

Ah, it feels good to laugh again.

Captain_Amazing Posted:

Well, we WOULD have been useless, if it wasn’t for that whole ‘Forbidden Fruit of Knowledge’ incident.

So, thanks, I guess.

Hey, don’t blame me on that. Or do. But it wasn’t my fault. Anyway, you’re welcome.

Want an apple?

BY THE ELDERS…PLEASE NOT ETERNOS!!!

Anthony J Crowley Posted:

Hey, don’t blame me on that. Or do. But it wasn’t my fault. Anyway, you’re welcome.

Want an apple?

Would that be an unoriginal sin? Log in to see images!

Anyway, wouldn’t that suddnely make me unaware of the boundaries between Good and Evil? Cause I’m kinda hazy on that subject anyway.

Casanova Frankenstein Posted:

Oh, no Lance, the remaining 5% will simply remain as part of my new collection of zombie-like playthings. And once I grow bored of playing with them, I’ll simply launch my Psychofrakulator satellite, so that I can target any city in the world on a whim and pop it out of existence like so much backne.

As a gift, to you, I’ll let you choose which city I obliterate next.

Dude. That whole Lance thing? Not cool. I thought we’d agreed on this, Terrance.

Anyway, that IS pretty evil. How’d that Psychofrakulator thingy work out, anyway? When you approached me for funding you were pretty sketchy on the details. I’m not sure that thing even exists.

As for the initial city (NOT that you’re going to suceed, mind you)... Where are you living at the moment? Failing that, take out London. I don’t trust that Cameron chap; I suspect that he is secretly a robot.

Ger-Man Posted:

BY THE ELDERS…PLEASE NOT ETERNOS!!!

Oh, man up, you pansy. Eternos isn’t even ON Earth. You have nothing to worry about.

Yorgle Posted:

i dunno you guys don’t really look much like heros to me. where’s yoru grails n stuff? I mean, can any of you carry around a bridge or a key or some other thing but only just one at a time?

Currently in my pockets I have a paper clip, a snotty kleenex, several balls of chewed gum, a bouncy ball, a step-ladder, an entire alien civilisation, two I-phones, some shark repellent and a water pistol.

It has just occured to me that I have remarkably large pockets.

a2 iit appear2 two me, youre all doomed no matter what, much liike my very special gang

Oh look look look I can be a superhero too

Log in to see images!

Professor Commie PhD Posted:

so what is your stance on the world being destroyed in a little while?

If you’re talking about Casanova here, don’t worry about it. I mean, yeah, He has several Doomsday Devices, but none of them work… To my knowledge. On the off chance that one of them does work, I can fly and breathe in space, so it’s all good on this end. You guys, on the other hand, are pretty much ****ed. I’d WOULD save you, but I’m a lovable misanthrope.

That, and I hate you.

twinArmageddons Posted:

a2 iit appear2 two me, youre all doomed no matter what, much liike my very special gang

Yep. You’re all ****ed.

CrinkzPipe Posted:

how many Log in to see images!

How many… Skulls have I shoved up… Beaker and then… Emo Hitler?

I bumure you, those rumours about my SUPPOSEDLY unorthodox sex-life were entirely fabricated. I have not, nor will I ever, engage in intercourse with puppets or murderous dictators. And certainly not at the same time.

Dirty Birdy Posted:

Oh look look look I can be a superhero too

Log in to see images!

You know, you’d look MUCH sexier in my clothes. Log in to see images!

You know what? I think that I can save SOME of you from certain destruction when the time comes. SOME of you.

Bacchus Posted:

Not reading all this ****. Did he **** off yet? Anyone?

Not you, though. You’re a male reproductive organ.