Rules:

1. Post a vividly described sexual escapade ITT. No tubmailing.

2. Entries will be judged by how much they make me laugh, fap, puke or all of the above.

3. NSFW pics may be posted if you feel they help you tell the story.

4. The story can be completely fictional, as long as it’s believable (no aliens, porno scenarios etc.)

5. Be original, I WILL Google these.

6. Grammar- and spell-checkers exist for a reason.

7. Any kind of sexual act is acceptable (gay, solo, fetish etc.) as long as it doesn’t involve minors.

8. Top 3 entries will receive 15 BPs each, with the very best getting the Grand Prize: A free Orange Box CD-key via Tubmail.

9. No trolling/off-topic.

EDIT: 10. You may enter as many stories as you wish, but will be eligible for only one prize.

Contest ends on April 9th at rollover (Friday morning, for you yanks).

So apparently after getting high last night I seem to have bought an Orange Box even though I already own one. To best remedy this situation (no, I can’t return it) I’m going to try to get some entertainment out of it.

Here’s a story. Attention, it’s extremely NSFW. It contains gay sex, gore and incest. Don’t eat while reading.

Quoting to make it visible Posted:

It was a cold, gloomy morning. Bob was drinking his coffee, apathetic and grumpy. The weather, as well as his problems, were a physical strain for him and he was far from lively in this particular day.

He turned on his computer, hoping to find something amusing. However, it was going to be hard, as he had been unemployed for several months, and browsing the internet was his only occupation. He had been desensitized to the point where he could fap to Goatse, and, coincidentally, that’s what he was doing all day long.

All of a sudden, his phone rang. Bob didn’t have any friends, and his parents were too disappointed by his behaviour as to call him any more. He answered, and a slithering voice demanded that he went to a narrow street, in the other side of the town.

‘Y’mean like, gettin’ out of the house? That ain’t gonna happen, mate. I hasn’t gone out in months!’

‘I said, COME.’

A loud bang could be heard in the bathroom. Bob was stupid, but he wasn’t a permanoob. He felt threatened, and he got out of the house as fast as he could.

He had been called to a warehouse. As soon as he got inside, he puked. He had seen bodies: human corpses, nailed to the walls, some of them still bleeding. He felt a putrid smell, and the same voice behind him. When he turned around, there was already a rope around his neck. He was carried to the centre of the warehouse, where he saw his mother, naked, tied to a bed. On her body there was a note.

‘Do you remember when you fired me, saying that I was a ****? Let’s see you now, ****.’

Bob remembered that case, as he was being stripped naked too. When he still had a job, he had fired a man for refusing to have gay sex with him. That’s why he lost his job: he was a fabulous person douchebag that harbumed employees.

He was interrupted from his nostalgia, as a crowbar hit made him collapse on top of his mother. As he was being poked with a cattle prod, he was tied to the bed, and demanded that he **** his own mother. Bob was stupid, but he cared for his life.

Puking a little in his mouth, he thrusted, feeling his mother’s sweet woman's genitals wrap around his male reproductive organ. She was smiling, maybe trying to encourage Bob to get over with it as fast as he could. His swollen balls were rubbing against her wet labia, and he felt her hard nipples on his hairy chest. His mom was fat, and he was almost lost in her plethora of skin folds. Insanely, he inserted two fingers in her loose, loopy bumhole, as she had unexpectedly started to moan. He was stroking her hairy perineum, while licking her greasy mammary glands. It was an epic wincest.

He tried to get off as fast as he could, so he could escape, but his former employee was far sicker than he had expected. A nine inch nail was being pushed into his bumhole at the same pace as he was ****ing his mom.

‘I knew I needed a good nailing, but this is too much!’ thought Bob, trying to welcome this ****ty situation.

Pushing more and more, he came, while the nail had reached his prostate, in a ****ed-up synchronization. He got off his mom, bleeding from his bumhole.

‘Hell, at least I helped Teh Cezar win a 15 BP contest!’

What if I write a story about a clown nailing Benjamin bumon? The guy was 85 or so when he looked underage, so it’s not CP Log in to see images!

aVENGed_dOzer Posted:

Rules:

1. Post a vividly described sexual escapade ITT. No tubmailing.

2. Entries will be judged by how much they make me laugh, fap, puke or all of the above.

3. NSFW pics may be posted if you feel they help you tell the story.

4. The story can be completely fictional, as long as it’s believable (no aliens, porno scenarios etc.)

5. Be original, I WILL Google these.

6. Grammar- and spell-checkers exist for a reason.

7. Any kind of sexual act is acceptable (gay, solo, fetish etc.) as long as it doesn’t involve minors.

8. Top 3 entries will receive 15 BPs each, with the very best getting the Grand Prize: A free Orange Box CD-key via Tubmail.

9. No trolling/off-topic.

Contest ends on April 9th at rollover (Friday morning, for you yanks).

So apparently after getting high last night I seem to have bought an Orange Box even though I already own one. To best remedy this situation (no, I can’t return it) I’m going to try to get some entertainment out of it.

toxx’d. Also, how many entries per account/character?

One upon a time I saw some boobies on the internet and it made my peepee feel funny so I grabbed it and moved it around a lot and it made me feel happy then some white stuff came out and it made me feel weird. The end.

Teh Cezar Posted:

Contest over! Log in to see images!

ohohoho I hope I winz but something tells me we all win

aVENGed_dOzer Posted:

Yeah, contest over.

I’m extremely disappointed. I was hoping for at least 6 or 7 entries, instead I got 2 decent ones and 2 that made Log in to see images!

I’ll give you my opinion. Award the prize to the winner.