so this one time i was poundin a gurls bum wit my big black strapon n she just kept queefin and it was all ic ould do not to crack up LOLZ. we were in doggy style but then i flippd her over 2 eat her out n then she female ejaculated all over my face!!!! i didnt even kno u could do that!!!!!! it tasted like tangy **** after a whole meal of asparagus.

So, I’d been awake for about 40+ hours when my **** buddy decided she was feeling frisky. Never one to pbum on bum I said hells yeah! Sure enough as we get started I crash hard. Log in to see images!

So we’re going at it and I’m damn tired. I’m falling asleep while ****ing. I didn’t stop going or lose my hard but I did start talking about some crazy ****. Telling her about what I was do to her with legos n ****. Seriously awkward moment when I snapped awake, still going at it. Log in to see images!

Moved her around to a standing doggy position on my waterbed so if I fell asleep again I’d hopefully fall over and NOT talk about legos. Seriously, Legos, WTF!?!

Escher Posted:

so it isnt u in this pictre? Log in to see images!

OMG THAZ HOT!!!!!! SHES A FOX

She woke up.

i went to a sleepover once round a friends house and i only went because we were gonna eat kfc Log in to see images!

this Log in to see images!

Let’s bumume a potential situation wherein I was spending time with my girlfriend and we were mutually exchanging kisses and affectionate touches when the telephone rings. In this scenario I remove myself from the lovemaking momentarily in order to retrieve the phone and answer it, and upon doing so and acknowledging the caller, my greeting is returned by an unfamiliar voice which states, “Excuse any interruption, but there’s a chance had I had foreknowledge of the information I hope to gain from you, I would have intentionally interrupted you with my call, though I also can accept the possibility of my call being unneccessary. Allow me to get to the point, so to speak. I am concerned that the actions you and my daughter are partaking in might be more than you are responsible enough to act upon or accept the consequences of.” I inform my lover of the call and describe its nature and content, and upon hearing my description she says, “My father is no longer with us, for he pbumed away.”

The question that lies within this imagined scenario is such: Who called you on the telephone?

handofg0d Posted:

Log in to see images!

For a minute I thought Escher was back.

I nearly spunked my load.

AndrewDufresne Posted:

i went to a sleepover once round a friends house and i only went because we were gonna eat kfc Log in to see images!

this Log in to see images!

I did, i did spunk my load.

The weirdest thing to happen tome during sex?

Well, this was before my wife and I were actually married. We were going at it, eating each other out, and right when I came up for air the phone rang, and it was her mom. I answered the phone so it wouldn’t seem suspicious and when Amy was done talking to her mom she decided she’d rather go to the mall then finish. It was a sad day and I am still not pleased with Amy’s mom.